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Reading the newer posts over last few days, and I have a question... well, a couple.

Do you think your Wife/SO truly understands the male sex drive?

If your a woman, do you understand the male sex drive?
If you said yes to the above, please explain.

Do you think women in general want to understand, or think they truly understand male sexuality?
 

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Do you think your Wife/SO truly understands the male sex drive?
Nope

Do you think women in general want to understand, or think they truly understand male sexuality?
I don`t think most "want" to truly understand it because they believe they already do.

The vast majority of them are so wrong it isn`t even funny.
 

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Reading the newer posts over last few days, and I have a question... well, a couple.

Do you think your Wife/SO truly understands the male sex drive?

If your a woman, do you understand the male sex drive?
If you said yes to the above, please explain.

Do you think women in general want to understand, or think they truly understand male sexuality?
I understand it perfectly. What I fail to understand are those who claim to want sex yet all they do is pursue it with women in a caveman way. If you want sex, it's between our ears....not our legs.
 

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I understand it perfectly. What I fail to understand are those who claim to want sex yet all they do is pursue it with women in a caveman way. If you want sex, it's between our ears....not our legs.
Yeah but it`s really the same for men and few women get that brighteyes.
 
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Explain please.
Most women I know have this idea that sex is a purely physical thing for men, no or very little emotion involved and while I`ll admit this is true with a fling or a ONS it isn`t true where the women we love and care for are concerned.

We want our women to want us, desire us, pursue us just as they want all these things.

Most women don`t know this I think because of the stereotypes our culture has created about gender differences.

Personally I don`t think men and women are very different at all sexually.

They say women need an emotional connection to have sex.
This is simply untrue as I`ve had sex with many women where there was no emotional connection.
Trust me, they enjoyed it as much as I.

Then they say men need sex to have an emotional connection.
This is simply untrue as I`ve had emotional connections with women without sex and found them fulfilling in and of themselves.

What I believe is that if you put aside entrenched cultural stigmas we all (both genders) can enjoy sex for the sake of pleasure with little to no emotional investment.

Once there is an emotional investment however we really need the validation of the one we`re invested in to feel loved.

Once we`ve opened up to another emotionally we need them to do the same to be happy sexually or otherwise.

We (both genders) need to feel desired and valued by the ones we love or sex simply sucks.
 
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Most women I know have this idea that sex is a purely physical thing for men, no or very little emotion involved and while I`ll admit this is true with a fling or a ONS it isn`t true where the women we love and care for are concerned.

We want our women to want us, desire us, pursue us just as they want all these things.

Most women don`t know this I think because of the stereotypes our culture has created about gender differences.

Personally I don`t think men and women are very different at all sexually.

They say women need an emotional connection to have sex.
This is imply untrue as I`ve had sex with many women where there was no emotional connection.
Trust me, they enjoyed it as much as I.

Then they say men need sex to have an emotional connection.
This is simply untrue as I`ve had emotional connections with women without sex and found them fulfilling in and of themselves.

What I believe is that if you put aside entrenched cultural stigmas we all (both genders) can enjoy sex for the sake of pleasure with little to no emotional investment.

Once there is an emotional investment however we really need the validation of the one we`re invested in to feel loved.

Once we`ve opened up to another emotionally we need them to do the same to be happy sexually or otherwise.

We (both genders) need to feel desired and valued by the ones we love or sex simply sucks.
I couldn't agree with you more! I hate these stereotypes about genders. All women "give up" sex and all men "pursue" it and all men need is a cold breeze and they are good. While there are exceptions to every rule, I think in general we ALL desire an emotional connection with our sexual partner.

I think for women, the lack of sex starts when they are no longer being courted, if you will. What I mean is the partner is ignoring the wife until 11 and then suddenly wants sex. To HIM, it is reconnecting with his wife. To HER, it is I've been abandoned all day and now he wants to play grab azz?

I also think a lot of girls are still raised with this unhealthy notion of sex. Read around her enough and you see a general theme. Women are the "gatekeepers". In a loving relationship there should be no gate and no keeper but I see it often mentioned here. What does that tell women? That their sexuality is a fortress to be guarded. No wonder they aren't allowed in their own mind to enjoy sex....they are too busy "protecting" it.

I will say this and I don't mean to get too argumentative but I have wanted to say this for a LONG time. I see a lot of men here who want their wives to be sexually open, try new things, take liberal chances in the bedroom yet they ridicule their wives sexual past. If you (not YOU literally) mock your partner for their past sexual life, chances are you will never get a partner who ever exposes themselves like that. It also reinforces that women should feel guilty about their sexuality.
 

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I will say this and I don't mean to get too argumentative but I have wanted to say this for a LONG time. I see a lot of men here who want their wives to be sexually open, try new things, take liberal chances in the bedroom yet they ridicule their wives sexual past. If you (not YOU literally) mock your partner for their past sexual life, chances are you will never get a partner who ever exposes themselves like that. It also reinforces that women should feel guilty about their sexuality.
Excellent point...
 

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I agree with every word you`ve said.

However at the risk of being argumentative myself I`d like to offer an explanation of this problem you`ve mentioned and I`ve witnessed as well...


I will say this and I don't mean to get too argumentative but I have wanted to say this for a LONG time. I see a lot of men here who want their wives to be sexually open, try new things, take liberal chances in the bedroom yet they ridicule their wives sexual past. If you (not YOU literally) mock your partner for their past sexual life, chances are you will never get a partner who ever exposes themselves like that. It also reinforces that women should feel guilty about their sexuality.
This I believe is a direct result of an "unhealthy notion of sex" that men are ingrained with from an early age.

I`m not excusing it because it disgusts me when I see it on these boards but I`m pretty sure it comes from the cultural notion that our wives must be "pure" and untouched to be worthy of us.

When I think of all the harmful ignorant stigmas both genders in our culture are ingrained with about the opposite sex I often wonder how any of us manage to pull off successful relationships at all.

Thinking about it in this light a 50% divorce rate sounds pretty good actually.

:)
 

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I agree with every word you`ve said.

However at the risk of being argumentative myself I`d like to offer an explanation of this problem you`ve mentioned and I`ve witnessed as well...




This I believe is a direct result of an "unhealthy notion of sex" that men are ingrained with from an early age.

I`m not excusing it because it disgusts me when I see it on these boards but I`m pretty sure it comes from the cultural notion that our wives must be "pure" and untouched to be worthy of us.

When I think of all the harmful ignorant stigmas both genders in our culture are ingrained with about the opposite sex I often wonder how any of us manage to pull off successful relationships at all.

Thinking about it in this light a 50% divorce rate sounds pretty good actually.

:)
I've heard this term more times than I care to count: "There are girls you bang and girls you marry". In my lifetime I have never heard a woman say that about a guy. Why is that? I'll tell you why. Because despite our "liberated" society, we still view women who enjoy sex as being less than in some way. I cannot understand it nor do I want to. A man who is a man [email protected] is a player. Not a derogatory term and lauded as being the "alpha" male. A woman on the other hand who acts the same way is a s!ut and sadly, it isn't just men saying that about her. Women say it time and time again.

So men want to marry the chaste woman. The woman you "bring home to Mom" yet fast forward a few years and they are here moaning that their wife is lacking in the bedroom. Guess what? They brought it all on themselves when they valued this puritanical bullsh!t over the person themself.

Knowing how society views sexually expressive women, is it any wonder why women have to "guard" their sexuality? Do you think a sexually repressed woman has a clue or cares about a man's sexuality? Yeah, no.
 

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So men want to marry the chaste woman. The woman you "bring home to Mom" yet fast forward a few years and they are here moaning that their wife is lacking in the bedroom. Guess what? They brought it all on themselves when they valued this puritanical bullsh!t over the person themself.
Again I completely agree but it almost isn`t even the fault of the men who do this.

They are raised believing this idiotic notion is right and true.
Just as women are raised believing sex is a playing piece in the game of marriage.

Indoctrination is a difficult thing to shake when it`s ingrained from childhood across an entire cultures population.
To fix it you need to change the entire cultural status quo which I actually believe is happening in our lifetime.

My children don`t have this mentality because they`ve been directly taught that their cultures ideas on sex and gender are wrong and inequitable.
I don`t think I`m the only parent of my generation who has taught this to their kids.

Feminism has fixed this problem, it`s just taking society a long time to realize it.

Once the last of the rational puritans have died out their ignorant taboos will die with them.

At least I hope so.
 

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If your a woman, do you understand the male sex drive?
If you said yes to the above, please explain.

Do you think women in general want to understand, or think they truly understand male sexuality?
Nope, I don't truly understand it, and probably never will since I'm not a man, and don't have the same amount of testosterone running through me. I would like to understand it better and enjoy reading up in the men's clubhouse. Who better to learn about men than from men.
 

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Again I completely agree but it almost isn`t even the fault of the men who do this.

They are raised believing this idiotic notion is right and true.
Just as women are raised believing sex is a playing piece in the game of marriage.

Indoctrination is a difficult thing to shake when it`s ingrained from childhood across an entire cultures population.
To fix it you need to change the entire cultural status quo which I actually believe is happening in our lifetime.

My children don`t have this mentality because they`ve been directly taught that their cultures ideas on sex and gender are wrong and inequitable.
I don`t think I`m the only parent of my generation who has taught this to their kids.

Feminism has fixed this problem, it`s just taking society a long time to realize it.

Once the last of the rational puritans have died out their ignorant taboos will die with them.

At least I hope so.
Totally agree.

So going back to the male sex drive, what is it you want us listening women to know?
 

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I certainly didn't understand the male sex drive until my husband helped me to mature sexually. My notions were derived from not understanding how men could pay a prostitute for sex, how they could rape a woman, and how they could sexually harass a subordinate.

I did not understand that my husband connected to me emotionally through sex. I had the "eewww" factor of a little girl toward male genitalia, and I did not know how my body worked when I was young.

Hooray for a patient husband who helped me learn the joy of a good sex life!
 

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A woman can never truly know what it feels like for a man in regards to his sex drive.

No different than a man not being able to truly know what it feels like for a woman in regards to her sex drive and all of the 'female' issues that she goes through as part of her reproductive life.

Just because you don't get to go through the exact same experience does not mean that you can't have compassion, caring, and empathy. It doesn't mean that we don't go through the same human emotions.

And, I still think there's lots of work to be done to get to the point where women's sexuality is as vaunted as men's, where it is not shamed, and where men don't have to put all of their 'emotional eggs', so to speak, into just a single basket of their sexuality.

For both sexes, it should be a healthy mix of both, and it is unfortunate that from a cultural perspective this has been out of whack - and I still don't see it changing much.

We might be in a hyper-sexualized world right now, but I haven't seen a lot of traction into more positive models yet, although I do see a lot of unhealthy ones being established.
 

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Great post, Enchantment. I agree, despite our hyper-sexualized culture, men and women do not understand each other's role in a good sex life.
 
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