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Plenty of time to throw out guesses, assumptions and hate.

I grew up in the era of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. So I just see animosity here.

A guy I regularly play tennis with is on VERY short rope with his wife. She's the Air Traffic Controller of It All. Can hardly squeeze him out of her grips to play tennis once in a while. Sucks to be him. Some of us get beer in the summer after playing. He's screwed when it comes to this.

There's the backstory. Enjoy.
Wow! Really? Go ahead and play victim if you like. Fine. That's ok. Whatever.
 

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If there's any issue with your wife "allowing" or not allowing you regarding friends, why on Earth do you think she's gonna be open to you having a FWB ****fest with other women once a month like you want to have?
What does this have to do w/ anything in this thread?
 

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Plenty of time to throw out guesses, assumptions and hate.

I grew up in the era of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. So I just see animosity here.

A guy I regularly play tennis with is on VERY short rope with his wife. She's the Air Traffic Controller of It All. Can hardly squeeze him out of her grips to play tennis once in a while. Sucks to be him. Some of us get beer in the summer after playing. He's screwed when it comes to this.

There's the backstory. Enjoy.

Ahhh... but does it actually suck to be him?? Has he told you this? It’s really nice that you’re so worried about his mean wife. How’s your wife with you, do you do what you like, or discuss with her? Is she allowed to go out with the girls? (I’m not making any assumptions here about you either).

Maybe, maybe he doesn’t actually like having beers with the old boys club and can’t wait to see her or there are other reasons he wants to leave right after. Maybe that’s just the line the two of them have come up with so he can escape without making anyone feel less... masculine. ‘Cause I would hate to be the man in any group that says, ‘I don’t feel like having a drink, I really want to go and be alone with my wife, or I really feel tired after tennis and just want to rest, or I’ve actually stopped drinking for my health’. If you call his wife the controller of it all, what would you call him if his reasons for leaving weren’t because his wife wants him home?

My cousin is like this, we all love how good he is to his wife (his buddies are pretty awful to their wives) and he’s not ashamed of saying it. But the way the men talk about him is really really cruel. To us, he’s a bigger man than any of them and it’s sad how they demean him. His wife is not at all controlling either, they’re a great couple. But he’s confident enough to put her first.

A lot of pressure you all face, I really feel for men.

My husband and I both have separate friends we see alone, sometimes we see them together.

We both allow eachother to say ‘My husband won’t let me stay longer/my wife won’t let me do that’ in situations where we are dealing with really forceful obnoxious people, or situations where we can’t say no to others easily and don’t feel brave enough to be the odd one out. It’s our secret code... sometimes there’s even a secret phone call mid-event 😉 oops, I can’t stay any longer or drop you off - my husband is such a pain he needs me home right now, sheesh he ALWAYS does this (for the friend that always expects a lift when she’s ready to go home). :-D or my husband, who just doesn’t want that second beer because he actually doesn’t want to lose his job or get caught driving drunk says, ‘My wife won’t let me drink, I’m not allowed!’ That one is for the alcoholic who’s lost two marriages because of his drinking and thinks all boys should be free to get smashed 😁
 

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Discussion Starter #25
Well, Lucky, I just know that he enjoys coming over to our house for a beer and talking with my wife and me when his sister has taken the kids out of state to visit relatives (he stays back working).

So what I'm saying is really real, and aspersions come off queer and mistaken.
 

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It appeared he was asking about the wife "allowing" friend issue for himself. If he was, my comment was relevant.
It isn't clear to me how his interest in having friends amounts to him wanting "a FWB ****fest with other women once a month".
 

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Erm maybe like 4-5 people I would hang out and do stuff with for a long period of time.

A lot longer list for shorter commitments like getting lunch or something.
 

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My brothers are my closest male friends. My best friend (since 16 and my best man) has withdrawn from any form of socializing with me. Not sure what it is. I do not talk politics with him. I have a coupld of male friends that have dropped off the face of the earth in 2020. Will not give me the time of day in any form of contact. It breaks my heart honestly. That being said I have developed about couple more to take their place. I find that most men are starving for friendship with other men in mid life.
 

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My brothers are my closest male friends. My best friend (since 16 and my best man) has withdrawn from any form of socializing with me. Not sure what it is. I do not talk politics with him. I have a coupld of male friends that have dropped off the face of the earth in 2020. Will not give me the time of day in any form of contact. It breaks my heart honestly. That being said I have developed about couple more to take their place. I find that most men are starving for friendship with other men in mid life.
I too find that a lot of middle aged men don't maintain friendships and think this is unhealthy. I think there are some married women who feel they have veto power over their H's friends(as TS suggested) but they are a minority.

It shocks me how many people's only socializing is their ancestors and their descendants.
 

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0. I'll stop and talk to people and co-workers briefly but hang out with? Nah. The closest thing I've got is an uncle I message with almost daily but that's it.

I'm 37 now and the only wedding I've been invited to was when I was 15 or so, as part of a whole family invite. As an adult I've never been invited for a round of golf, to a birthday party, to watch sports. My neighbor invited me to drink beer one time indirectly through my now wife after he met me for the first time but I never took him up on it. Who wants to spend time with that guy.
 
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