[LonelyLucy]

Hi

It's the first time I have been to any forum but I'm feeling the need for some advice about what I am going through and feel that I cant talk to any family of friends about this.

Been married for 8 years, together for 15 years, we have two kids in primary school.
I work 4 days a week and study externally at university, and hubby has been on work cover for around 6-7 years.
Over the years I have gone on at him about doing more around house etc, I understand he has an injury but I work, study and do most of the kid stuff, and I'm exhausted, which I have told him how I feel several times and asked for more help. He does for the first week but after one week he's back to the same again.
We have relationship, communication, passion, romance, we dont go out, no life at all reallyand I feel like I have growen away from him. I dont want sex with him ( although he trys ).

A few months ago I met a man at a party and you know how the saying goes 'we connected' . I gave him my number (probably a bad move) and he rang me a few weeks later.
We have met up twice but only talked, he is in an open marraige as well.
I know there will be no future with this man, but it has made me think about my marraige and I dont think I love my husband anymore.

I'm feeling confused, guilty, lonely and empty ( and probably many other emotions )
Pleases offer some advice
Thanks Lucy

 

[LonelyLucy]

Hi

Thank you for your comments, they all have me thinking............

When I married my husband I knew he was an 'introvert' and wasnt much of the social kind. I have spent the majority of our marriage initiating conversations and I just dont seem to care lately about talking.

We have never really had time together, kids get looked after once a year and thats about it. So I know lack of time together has taken it's toll.

I went back to work after 2nd child was 6 months old because of financial problems. Then decided to study at uni for a higher qualification and wage. As he had loss of wage due to being on work place injury i had to make the choice to study, because he had and continues to have no admiration to get back to work.

As for the husband on work cover - that is he had a workplace injury (back injury) and has basically sat at home for the past 7 years doing ****** all.

Ok he does do washing every other day and maybe packs the dishwasher once a week if that and deals with all the finances.
I guess with me working and studying I feel he is the 'house husband' and should mantain the house while I am at work and kids are at achool for the day. I understand he has a back injury but it's not like he is disabled a cant walk.
We share kids homework and equally spend time with kids on weekends.

I know i neglect my husband in the sex department, but fell he neglects me in other ways - passion, communication, romance, togetherness, being friends. We used to say I love you to each other everynight, but for the past year or so he sometimes says it after sex, so I dont bother saying it anymore. We dont even really kiss anymore, maybe a peck before bed but half the time our lips hardly connect so it doesnt mean anything it seems pointless.

I feel bad but I dont feel attracted to him anymore and these days we are beginning to sit in other rooms so we dont have to look at each other.

I know I need to say something but I'm a little frustrated and defient at the moment and think why should I initiate our marraige problems, clearly he knows something is wrong.

Cheers for listening