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Drop all contact with the man from the party; he will just muddy the water. This isn't about HIM, you've acknowledged that; you had problems PRIOR to him. SORT those problems out FIRST THING.

Tell your H in a polite way (no attacking) that you are EXTREMELY UNHAPPY in your marriage. Tell him you want him to attend MC with you if he expects the two of you to improve your marrige/communication at all. If he goes, GREAT! If he refuses, then GO TO INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING alone.

Learn to set goals, learn to improve your communication, learn what expectations are reasonable and what are NOT. THEN you will be able to KNOW IN YOUR HEART whether your marriage is salvageable or not. If it is, get busy on it and INSIST THAT HE COMES to MC or you will NOT continue in the marriage the way it is. If your marriage is NOT salvageable, then pull the plug.

No hasty decisions now, get counseling of some type.
No muddying issues with other people (especially potential sex partners with NO FUTURE).
 
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