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Wow honey, Realize that it is the emotional distance from you hubby that has caused you to seek connection with another man.

You need to break the ties. Tell him you are NOT in an open marriage, even if he is. & Tell him you are going to talk to you husband about it.
(that will stop him from reaching out to you, because he "probably" is NOT in an open marriage.)

Then you need to talk with hubby. Sit down & tell him the things you told us. That each time you ask for help, he's kkicks in, but only for about a week.. Then it's all responsibility on you again. Then tell him about the emotional distance and what it means to feel needed & wanted. Show him this thread & admit that it was YOU that initiated the continuing contact with this other man.

Tell him you did not go "seeking" to cheat. But you fear it is going to that level. You realize that it is wrong and you want to stop. Tell him you want to connect closer to him (hubby) again. Even if its date nights "in" (if you don't have resources to go out on a weekly date night). Still, set aside time TOGETHER... a snuggle movie time & tell kids no interruptions. Bubble bath (toghter) night the next week.. .. Baking cookies together the next week... Puzzle night another week... etc. Each week, make sure you are communicating your feelings to HIM (not to another man) about the need to feel appreciated. He might say, "But I DO appreciate you!". Tell him its the need to "FEEL" appreciated.
 

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I know I need to say something but I'm a little frustrated and defient at the moment and think why should I initiate our marraige problems, clearly he knows something is wrong.
Not true.
It is not "clear" that he knows something is wrong. He may think that you are just ticked/angry/"on your period"/had a bad day.... etc etc.. and don't want to be in the same room as him right now.

He may think that everything is fine, that you are just going thru a "'spell".

Some men are clueless.

If you don't initiate to talk about the marriage problems.. well, then you probably don't want to. But if you want to save the marriage (which, sorry, but doesn't seem like you are interested in saving it right now.).. If you want to save the marriage, You've "GOT" to initiate talking about the problems.


Otherwise, I feel you need to be honest and fair to him, and split with him before you pursue this other man that is clearly open to cheating on HIS wife.
 
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