I understand wanting to be better at something or becoming a better person. Problem is that all these books by self proclaimed experts are generalizing. They don't know you or your spouse. Humanoids are complex creatures. Because it worked for Couple A then it must work for Couple B... A book isn't going to solve your relationship problems, only discussing it with your spouse, each owning your shortcomings and figuring out the best way forward. I think counseling can be valuable but these cookie cutter self help books are a waste except for some entertainment value.
I think it’s whatever works for you is what you should do.