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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it possible for your spouse to be in love with you and not be physically attracted to you?

My wife acts like a loving spouse for most parts except for the physical intimacy.
 

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Yes, I agree. It is very common. I doubt my grandparents were getting it on regularly in the latter years of their lives but they were very much in love and devoted. But their sexual desire for each other ran their course at the same time. If you still desire your wife but she doesn't you, then that's a problem.

But the question for you isn't whether or not a person can be in love with you absent of being physically attracted to you. The question is -- Can you be in a happy, loving relationship with someone who doesn't find you physically appealing? Someone who will not be able to give you the physical intimacy you crave and desire? If yes, that's a huge sacrifice to make.
 

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It's possible to love a family member without physical attraction so of course it's possible for a wife or husband to do the same. However, that's not a real marriage and no way to live. If she really loved you she would set you free so you could have a mutually healthy relationship that involves physical attraction and sex. She's probably in love with what you're able to provide. The bottom line is that if she's expecting you to stay in a marriage without sex then she's being very selfish. It may be time to man up and start acting like you expect to be respected. This advice assumes you're a decent guy and not abusive in any way.
 

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I thought that if you were "in love" with someone that was the whole person. It's the I love you speech. I care about you want to see you happy. Just don't want to touch you. Omg
 

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If she really loved you she would set you free so you could have a mutually healthy relationship that involves physical attraction and sex.
The only problem with that line of thinking is the whole "grass is greener" idea on "finding someone else" fact of the matter is 2nd marriages end in divorce including there can be lack of sexual attraction more so than 1st marriages.So "setting him free" is one thing..but to "find someone else" is another thing all together.Not to mention sexual attraction alone can leave much lacking including love..soo....
 

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I thought that if you were "in love" with someone that was the whole person. It's the I love you speech. I care about you want to see you happy. Just don't want to touch you. Omg
Yeah I guess its a scramble in terms..I thought "in love" included "want sex with you "..but that is was "love you" but not "in love with you " that meant like best friends or close relatives and meh on the sex...:confused:
 

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The only problem with that line of thinking is the whole "grass is greener" idea on "finding someone else" fact of the matter is 2nd marriages end in divorce including there can be lack of sexual attraction more so than 1st marriages.So "setting him free" is one thing..but to "find someone else" is another thing all together.Not to mention sexual attraction alone can leave much lacking including love..soo....


First off I didn't mention anything about getting remarried. Secondly being trapped in a sexless marriage is worse then being single and alone for most men. A form of mental torture really.
 

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First off I didn't mention anything about getting remarried. Secondly being trapped in a sexless marriage is worse then being single and alone for most men. A form of mental torture really.
so you could have a mutually healthy relationship that involves physical attraction and sex.
O.K you are right..you didn't mention remarriage specifically..Sorry.My bad...:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Yeah I guess its a scramble in terms..I thought "in love" included "want sex with you "..but that is was "love you" but not "in love with you " that meant like best friends or close relatives and meh on the sex...:confused:
This has been my view as well. I find it interesting that it is not the more common view.
 

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This has been my view as well. I find it interesting that it is not the more common view.
I dont know..:confused:..

I thought i'm not 'in love with you " meant I really dont want to "cuddle" ..(like sexual cuddle) ..but LOVE (I love you meant) I would jump in front of a train to save your life cuz I love you like you are my mom or sister.:scratchhead: but I do not want to have sex with you AT ALL...
 

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IMO Romantic Love should = sex

Any other love should not. Affection like hugs and kisses, yes. Sex? NO.

Marriage should encompass romantic love. Even when that physical expression of love (sex) fades with aging, the 'in love' feelings should still be there. At least that's what I'm hoping for in my marriage.
 
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