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The nightmare started when I came to know about her affairs. My wife was not even sure whether the child belongs to me or not. The DNA result claims that its mine.

I was deeply in love with my wife, that I wrote her name on my body thru tattoo which was her first valentine gift. My wife grew up at her close relatives where she never received adequate love from her father. The beginning period of our marriage was great but suddenly she started to feel sad and lonely as if I framed couple of things during marriage and brought her abroad. She started to come close to one of our close relative ( married & has 2 adult kids) which turned out to be an emotional affair. Their closeness turned into physical affair where she even forgot to have sex with condom. She was so blind in love & sex that listened to that person about using the pills while having sex so they can enjoy it. She might have a sex with me also during that time period using pills so that if something goes wrong then the child can be mine and that person is safe with his semen because of pills. She forgot to take pills and luckily his semen got fertilized not mine.

She was thinking to give me a divorce at that time where her pregnancy came in-between. I was in love with her at that time so didn’t agree for divorce. I am pretty much sure that the culture and relationship also played an important part where there was no way for them to get married or live together. Their affair never lasted long & I came to know about her incident where she claimed about her affairs and asked me for forgiveness by saying that “please try to forgive me – I know I have made big mistake and I will be your slave for whole life”. I tried to forgive her but somehow became an alcoholic and went for sex at massage parlors. The only difference was that I informed her about my incident where sa she tried to hide it..

She suffered from a serious illness soon after and was barely able to survive so I decided to never drink again and told her to start a new life where it will be only me and her. She still has that grudge about “going outside for affairs and because of me as I was not able to take care of her in the beginning of the marriage”. I still try to let it go as women have tendencies of arguing things without any logic. As we all live in a fast track western culture life, I asked my wife about blowjob and other fantasy but she was not ready for it. She treats such kind of things as “dirty” . I might be wrong or forward in asking too much to my wife but what about the enjoyment and satisfaction that she got. I don’t know how & what do people enjoy during affairs but if she can have sex without using condoms just to get the enjoyment ( I guess so ) then why not blowjob? When ever I ask her about her sex during the affair, she tries to deny that there was oral sex involved as the person was twice her age but she claims that the person did go down on her and performed cunnilingus to make her wild.

There was a time when I was in deep love and she wanted to divorce me but now I want to divorce her and she is in love with me and wants to live with me.I don’t know if I am asking too much in return as a blowjob for what she did or it’s just the lust on my part and if it’s only my lust then what about hers lust during affairs?

She always claims to be ignorant of such kind of things (as its not western culture) but has knowledge about getting enjoyment without using condom. She was more worried about her fat body and don't allow me to kiss her vagina, so I told her that I never looked at her body and I have accepted her not her body but still she keeps on thinking.

We all get that freedom to become naughty in affairs but not during the regular life where ethics, rules, regulations comes in between. I am pretty much sure that if I ask her about anal sex, or watching the erotic movies together then it will be the same reply about dirtiness. We had an argument about this and I reminded her what she said to me that “forgive me, give me a chance, slave & will do everything etc “ so why not now and her response was that those wordings/speech came out because of tenseness & fear which means that basically those words have no meaning. It was simply a king of sympathy that every woman wants.

Bottom line, if you love somebody then you will always think about sacrifice but when it dies all sort of excuses arise. I don’t know if it’s my ego, revenge or lust and that’s why I though to ask you about divorcing her is the right decision or not.

Sorry for the brief and long message.

Thankyou,
 

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Im not even going to go into the intracacies of what you just wrote.

One thing is blatantly obvious. Your so-called wife is a serial cheater, and she is not going to stop. She blames you for her cheating because she knows deep down in her rotten heart that she has no one else to blame her bad decicion making on.

I see alot of self blame interwoven throughout your post, and I will respond by saying.....it is all bull. Her cheating has nothing to do with what you ar doing or haven't done for her. Do you understand that?

She cheats because she is a cheat...and a blame-shifter, and a liar...

She does not love you or respect you. I doubt this broken person is capable of loving or respecting anyone, because she has no love or respect for herself.

Move towards divorce. Get a paternity test done on the child to make sure you do not get saddled with it. Get your affairs in order and get this evil woman out of your life as soon as you can.

And please don't say "But I love her!" Your love is misplaced.
 

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It was wrong for your wife to make those statements and then take them back.
I think she has no remorse at all and will end up doing those dirty things again but with out you.

She is lying to her self and isn't be true to her self. She goes off and does dirty things with someone else instead of you because she can act like this and then go back to you and pretend to be this sweet innocent wife, but behind your back she wants to be dirty.

I would divorce her for not sharing her wants and lying not only to her self but also to you.

She will do this again.
 
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