The problem stems from how we define love. The love that is idealized is that heady "in-love" feeling we get when we meet someone new; or that same feeling when we see someone across the room and our "in-love" sensors go off.
That's not love.. it's infatuation and brain chemicals over flowing into our brains. It's nature's way to get us to procreate with an attractive person we just met. Worked well when we lived in caves and had short lives. It does not work well in today's world.
The "love" that we do not idealize is real "love". Love is a verb. It's action base on choice.