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Men. In your relationship would you rather feel unloved or disrespected

  • Unloved

    Votes: 18 78.3%
  • Disrespected

    Votes: 5 21.7%
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Please, Men only answer the poll question. Ladies check your forum the question/pole that applies to you. If you have read this book please do not answer the pole question.

I am currently reading Love and Respect - Dr. E. Eggerichs.

In the book certain claims about love and respect have been made as it applies to both sexes.

It is also claimed that this is backed up by his biblical and others scientific research.

Thanks for you time.
 

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How can a woman love a man but doesn't respect him? Don't they go together?
Since showing respect is part of showing love, then if one get disrespected then he would also be unloved.
 

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Tricky question.
I voted for the first option , I could tolerate feeling unloved because we could still be friendly and civil towards each other.

However I find disrespect to be abominable and abhorrent.
There is something about it that grates against my psyche.
 

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Not a fair poll. The two go hand in hand with each other. Can't have one without the other

If she's disrespecting you then she can't really love you on a deep level.
If there's no good reason why she doesn't respect you then go find another woman who will. There are so many good women out there who will respect you. There's a TON!
 

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I can give an example:

Wife: You are a dumb, stupid son of a b. Why are you even alive, you should die in hell for being so stupid and don't make enough money for me to spend. My ex is way better than you. He can do everything. My co-worker, John, is more handsome than you and he makes more money than you. His d*** is bigger than yours. But I love you.

Is that possible?
 

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Love without respect is not likely. At least a healthy love needed for a lasting relationship. I suppose it's a sliding scale though.

Respect is important for love. The reverse is not true. Surely some couples respect each other as people but are not compatible. Couples who don't respect each other don't have much chance of anything.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I can give an example:

Wife: You are a dumb, stupid son of a b. Why are you even alive, you should die in hell for being so stupid and don't make enough money for me to spend. My ex is way better than you. He can do everything. My co-worker, John, is more handsome than you and he makes more money than you. His d*** is bigger than yours. But I love you.

Is that possible?
For women, possibly. But the important question is what a man reads into this onslaught of verbal frustration. Women do not have to be that blatant or obvious for a man to feel disrespected do they? Ever felt disrespected by the littlest of comments from your wife?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Love without respect is not likely. At least a healthy love needed for a lasting relationship. I suppose it's a sliding scale though.

Respect is important for love. The reverse is not true. Surely some couples respect each other as people but are not compatible. Couples who don't respect each other don't have much chance of anything.
Are you saying that you need respect to feel loved?
 

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Are you saying that you need respect to feel loved?
Yes. If I am not respected then I do not want any form of love because it rings hollow to me. Let me tone that down a bit. If not respected then I have to gain that respect or else the love will eventually be gone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Is it really surprising?

If you had asked me to list loved/respected in order of importance based upon gender my answer would look like this:

Women: Loved then Respected
Men: Respected then Loved

In living with a man and having a father...I get that respect is a HUGE thing and goes hand in hand with whether or not a man feels loved (much like sex does).

But in living with my mother, knowing women and knowing myself. I would guesstimate that feeling loved is crucial to a woman's well being and ability to respect her husband, want to have sex with her husband, etc.

Strange how that works, eh?

Is this what was written in the book? Just curious.
Thanks Trenton. See my PM to you.
 

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next question:

Is the act of showing love really just showing respect?

Just a thought.
 

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to a woman CG.

Edit: Because I recognize expressions of love as this, not necessarily in this order:

sex
affection
hugs n kisses
sitting close when together with bodies touching
holding hands
affectionate looks and remarks

The rest is more respect for me. Being an orang, I may be different. LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
to a woman CG.

Edit: Because I recognize expressions of love as this, not necessarily in this order:

sex
affection
hugs n kisses
sitting close when together with bodies touching
holding hands
affectionate looks and remarks

The rest is more respect for me. Being an orang, I may be different. LOL
Are you saying when you show respect to your wife you are showing her love?
 

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I think many outward expressions of love are the same as respect, but not all. I am saying that expressions of respect are not necessarily expressions of love. I can respect another woman and not feel love in my heart; affectionate, passionate love. You know the kind that I would feel with a woman I want to have sex with and live with and marry. Did I say that? Scratch the marriage part, LOL. Kidding

I can have love in different forms for another person without wanting sex; as in sibling, parental or the love a child feels for a parent. Those are love, just not the same, obviously.
 
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Just so I don't forget the question:

Men. In your relationship would you rather feel unloved or disrespected

Edit: by the way, CG, I like your question. I hope you will respect us with your opinion at the end and why you ask.
 
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