Sorry to shine light: I own you the truth.
I asked to have NC with the OM
Did she sent the NC letter? Did she give you complete transparence (passwords, etc) so you can verify this? Is she acountable for the whereabouts. Is she financialy transparent? Did she answered your questions to your satisfaction?
She said she is wanting this marriage to work and if she didn't want to work then she would have already left.
The fact she still here doesn't mean a thing. There are tons of possible reason to stay, at least for now (or not leaving for this particular OM, at least for now). You actually doesn't know more than she cheated, keeps cheating and blames you. What it's blatantly obvious is she wants to eat her cake. Her answer is a manipulative attempt at "logical" fallacy. Very obvious actually.
When I found out there was not much remorse from her. Then about a month after my anger dwindle a little she started to become very loving to me and supportive. Then a month ago she withdrew from me and again.
Much remorse is an euphemism. She's not remorseful at all. If she was she wouldn't having an affair, don't you think? It's contradictory. And she
IS having the affiar. The fact you only can catch her once in while doesn't mean the affair is not ongoing. The moods swing has nothing to do with you (whatever you are "improving" or not), they are the up and downs of her affair.
With in a two weeks of finding out, I had realized if I didn't fix my depression I was going to lose my wife and kids. I change and she said the past 5 months I have been the father and husband she has always wanted. However she says she is still mad at me for not support her in the period I was having my depression.
The bolded part are crumbs she dishes so she can keep cake eating. The "still mad" is to cover herself when you catch her blataly contacting OM or when she can't hide the "mood swings" I explained before.
The affair is underground. You are in false R. You can't count with her word. She become a good liar. Start snooping seriously: keylogger the computer, spyware the phone, VAR at the car, GPS. Are you checking the phone bill? Are you following where goes the cash?
Taylor the 180 to your adventage. Put emphasis in self improvement. Forget the rest for a while so she doesn't suspect you are snooping.
Find your rights, talk to a lawyer. It doesn't mean you have to file now.
Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this
The Healing Heart: The 180
Keep reading, keep posting. You are not alone.