I have been in a relationship for 19 years that just ended. My significant other is an addict and I have stood by his side for so long. Even though we went through so many hard times I always thought eventually we would come through. I thought he was my soulmate. We have 2 kids together. In January he went to California for a long term treatment program and has been doing great. He is currently the manager of a sober living house and I was proud of him. He told me early on that he could not come back to NJ because he would die if he did. For the last few months we havent talked that much maybe once a week. I knew he needed to do his thing and I needed to heal. We went to visit him and he was a different person. He said he thought I was his trigger abd he couldnt be with me. I have been by his side for 19 years. It was so hard sometimes but I loved him. To be discarded like that broke my heart. We have 2 kids that I always wanted to have both parents together. I honestly dont know how to ease my pain. He is living in beautiful California taking care of him and I an here working, taking care of the kids during a pandemic by myself. I feel so hurt and angry and he is just done. I dont know how to go on.