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Hey Everyone,

my wife and I have been married 2.5 yrs, I found out last year to this exact date that she slept with another man while out drunk with friends. This is has been the most TRAUMATIC event to ever happen to me, as I LOVE my wife dearly and always have. We have 3 kids together and we both love them unconditionally, over the past year its been REALLY difficult to get "images" of the 2 of them together out of my head. I find when I'm by myself, I think about the infidelity more and more then I get angry or bitter on my way home, which in turn makes me shutdown and not talk with her. I know this is NOT the right thing to do, and I know that I've hurt her with bringing it up everytime things get heated. I have gotten help from a therapist which helped me NOT leave her and the kids behind and I am grateful for that. My bitterness has caused a wedge between us, and I am not getting much attention anymore, our sex life has dwindled from 3-4 times/week to once a month now, and I miss that closeness with her. I have been battling depression, anxiety, worried-ness because I am scared that she will cheat again. Trust has become a HUGE thing for me now. I've tried talking to her about how I feel but she just either "freaks" right out and takes off with NO communication, or she just looks at me and says im being "Ridiculous". I feel like I am losing her because of my bitterness, and shes asked me to make a change for the better and I am currently working on that to make her happy. The infidelity is NOT the only thing I have seen from her in regards to NOT respecting me at all, I found chat logs on facebook where she was bashing me and allowing other people to bash me at the same time, without protecting me. She has gotten rid of those people once the infidelity became known, she is remorseful and is sorry for what she has done to me, but I just can't get over the fact that she slept with another man. ITS HARD!! :(
 

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Sorry for what your going through. Reconciliation can be achieved. You need some help, even if is's just to share experiences. Buy and read this book. Surviving an Affair

Surviving an Affair: Willard F. Jr. Harley,Jennifer Harley Chalmers

Both of you should use it as a guide


Ask a Mod to move your thread to the Coping with Infidelity area. You'll get good advice there.
 

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Maybe you should see a marriage counselor or figure out a way in which the two of you can talk about this stuff without fighting, ignoring one another, or getting bitter. It seems like both of you are unhappy and it may get worse if you dont do something about it. Both of you have to be willing to work together though.
 
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