I am 31yrs old and my husband and I have been married for four years tomorrow. Yes, our anniversary is a day away. About 5 weeks ago he went on a camping trip without me with his friends, came back and told me he wanted a divorce. I have been going through the standard grief ever since which most of the time is unbearable. I have been through every emotion imaginable and each almost on a daily basis. I have been trying the 180 however the hardest part is that he and I work for the same company. A job in which I got him. I have to see him on a daily basis and am unsure on how to cope with this. We have many mutual friends there and of course word has gotten around to everyone. It really does spread like wildfire. I have spent many days at my desk after seeing him get off the elevator or passing each other in the hall or having to speak for work related issues and have just burst into tears at my desk. I know i need to maintain a professional relationship with him but it is extremely hard. I try to avoid him as much as possible but at times it is out of my control. At this time it is not an option to look for another job. With my emotional state, job market etc. i am stuck as is he. I want more than anything to save this marriage as i am still very much in love with him and very devoted to our life together. He states he loves me too but due to all of our past arguments, the scars are too deep and we cannot be together as husband and wife. I of course got the friend speech and we did do lunch a few times after the dreaded "D" word but when i look at him he is not my husband. He is not the man that I married. He is a cold dark shell of the man that i married. I know longer see warmth in his eyes its as if they have glazed over. I guess my questions are this:
1. What can I do to save this marriage, i had hope until yesterday (a not so good conversation with him). Once i lost that hope, I started the grief process all over again which has been devastating.
2. How do i handle the work situation. I cannot afford to lose my job (especially now) and it is not feasible to seek one at this time. I do get messages from him numerous times a day asking me about the legal stuff and bills etc which of course i am emotionally not ready to handle at this time. I have asked him to PLEASE not message me at work as all it does is cause me more pain and i cannot function as i need to to perform my job duties.
This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and most days i feel like i cannot cope. I cannot handle this divorce, I do not want it! I want my husband back and our life together. I want to make him happy and work on our issues instead of run from them. Any advice would be most helpful.
1. What can I do to save this marriage, i had hope until yesterday (a not so good conversation with him). Once i lost that hope, I started the grief process all over again which has been devastating.
2. How do i handle the work situation. I cannot afford to lose my job (especially now) and it is not feasible to seek one at this time. I do get messages from him numerous times a day asking me about the legal stuff and bills etc which of course i am emotionally not ready to handle at this time. I have asked him to PLEASE not message me at work as all it does is cause me more pain and i cannot function as i need to to perform my job duties.
This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and most days i feel like i cannot cope. I cannot handle this divorce, I do not want it! I want my husband back and our life together. I want to make him happy and work on our issues instead of run from them. Any advice would be most helpful.
