Hello everyone. I'm not very good at explaining feelings and such so please bear with me. Me and my wife have been married for almost 2 and half years and are coming up on a breaking point. We were great when we were dating and still are about 1/3 of the time. Now the problems. We are fighting all the time over very little things. We got pregnant a couple months after I got back from Iraq but my wife has Lupus and it was made worse by the pregnancy and we lost the baby at 16 weeks. My wife's Lupus spread into her kidney's and became Lupus Nephritis (Lupus of the kidney) and she swelled around the stomach. It left some bad stretch marks that haved killed her self confidence. She didn't want to be physical for a long time and I masterbated to take care of myself. Sometimes we get into a fight and I'm not interested in having sex that night. So, she will get angry that I didn't want to have sex and as such won't sleep with me for days afterward so, I masterbate. This has been the vicious cycle for over a year.
The other issue is us arguing. Alot of it stems from the fact I'm not good at expressing my emotions, never have been and feeling like I never will be. My wife has a habit of picking fights over small things and the fact that I don't respond to her being angry about these things makes her more angry. (I'm not say that alot of things she gets angry about aren't perfectly legitimate things.) The more she gets angry about small things though, the less empathy I feel.
I don't know what exactly to do at this point. I haven't brought up our daughter in my little narrative yet because she isn't any of the problem. My wife brought a daughter into our marriage and I've adopted her. As far as I'm concerned, she is mine. With all the issues we are having, I am mostly staying in this marriage for two reasons. One is so my daughter has both of her parents and also because with her medical condition my wife struggles at working and has been denied disability. My government health issurance takes care of her incredibly expensive medical bills. I'm leaving for a year in Korea in March and I'm looking forward to going. I feel bad feeling that way and don't want to be away from my daughter but I'm so unhappy on a day to day basis. I'm really not sure what to do.
The other issue is us arguing. Alot of it stems from the fact I'm not good at expressing my emotions, never have been and feeling like I never will be. My wife has a habit of picking fights over small things and the fact that I don't respond to her being angry about these things makes her more angry. (I'm not say that alot of things she gets angry about aren't perfectly legitimate things.) The more she gets angry about small things though, the less empathy I feel.
I don't know what exactly to do at this point. I haven't brought up our daughter in my little narrative yet because she isn't any of the problem. My wife brought a daughter into our marriage and I've adopted her. As far as I'm concerned, she is mine. With all the issues we are having, I am mostly staying in this marriage for two reasons. One is so my daughter has both of her parents and also because with her medical condition my wife struggles at working and has been denied disability. My government health issurance takes care of her incredibly expensive medical bills. I'm leaving for a year in Korea in March and I'm looking forward to going. I feel bad feeling that way and don't want to be away from my daughter but I'm so unhappy on a day to day basis. I'm really not sure what to do.