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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You guys ever fight over a misunderstanding? How about those times your spouse/partner escalated that fight over a simple misunderstanding into a deal breaker and announced that it was/is over?

Yet, if your spouse/partner was capable of conflict resolution in a healthy manner, they wouldn't be asking for things you can do to "make them happy"

And, if you still weren't battling codependence yourself, you certainly wouldn't be agreeing to things that will "make them happy" because when they are "not happy" (even though you are doing things to the best of your ability), there will be THE NEXT THING that will "make them happy"

;)



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Oh dear. I've been afraid to even post myself. This has been happening to me, over and over, for the past year.

I'm also reading Awareness by Anthony deMello to try and keep myself OUT of the drama.

Fear. And more fear. Theirs.
Afraid they won't be able to do what is needed, unsure of their own abilities to do what is necessary.

I have no idea how to show someone to rip up the list and throw it away and just trust today. Instead, the old habits remain.

On both sides.
I'm sorry. I wish things were better.
 

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I keep a countdown in my head. Not sure where zero is but it's there and when I reach it it's over. Counting down corrections and criticisms. One by one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Oh dear. I've been afraid to even post myself. This has been happening to me, over and over, for the past year.

I'm also reading Awareness by Anthony deMello to try and keep myself OUT of the drama.

Fear. And more fear. Theirs.
Afraid they won't be able to do what is needed, unsure of their own abilities to do what is necessary.

I have no idea how to show someone to rip up the list and throw it away and just trust today. Instead, the old habits remain.

On both sides.
I'm sorry. I wish things were better.
deej,

We've been kindred spirits the entire time.

You know this.

She's coming over - again - to talk.

Talk is cheap.

She wants "no strings attached"

I've been ready for "no strings attached" for a long time.

I'm not the one ending it because of strings.

Sheesh



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Oh Conrad....this sounds exhausting.

So exhausting.

...and it makes me thankful that I am out of this type of cycle.
 

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I don't know, Conrad.

...it just seems likes a like of drama.

...and a score?...who wins when you are battling this way?

I don't know. I guess I am at a place in my life when I just appreciate peace. upfrontness. straightforward purity.

More power to you, Conrad. It seems like you know what you are doing....but, I can tell you that I have definitely had enough of these types of games.
 

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So what's she asking you to do to make her happy? What controlling things?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So what's she asking you to do to make her happy? What controlling things?
She asked me to "give up" this forum.

I even got a new phone so it would not look like I was logging on.

She researched my browser history to see I was reading.

I am sorry, I actually care about the people here - and I was checking up on them.

She said that was a dealbreaker.

She can kiss my ass.

Is it not "controlling" enough to ask me not to participate and post?

Apparently not.



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