If my husband had enough umps to masterbate, I wouldn't care where he did it, as long as he wasn't making a mess!OK, I need to vent. You will recall the last argument my wife and I had as about me taking care of my special needs in the bathroom. She had a rule that I could only do it in the shower. We had a discussion to renegotiate as I think it is an unreasonable request. We agreed that as long as I did not make a mess, she would be OK with me doing it in the bathroom going forward. This was about a week ago.
For some background, I try to gauge my wife's mood and sync my alone time so it is not to close to our play time. Otherwise, it takes me too long to finish with her. I waited late last night just in case but we never had our closet time. This morning the urge was strong so I took care of business in the bathroom. My wife needed to use it as well and I let her know I was "busy". She lit up! I opened the door to let her know what I was doing and she blew up, yelled at me, called me a liar, and slammed the door in my face. I was in shock. Last week, I was very careful in making sure I was 100% clear on our agreement so there was no confusion. I reminded her of our agreement and she said that is not what she agreed and that I had coerced her in that discussion. I know for a fact that she said she was OK with it as long as I did not make a mess. I use a fleshlight (love it!) and everything is completely self contained so no way to make a mess.
We went off on each other, and I was ready to walk out of the house to blow off some steam. I stayed and we ended up talking each other down and making up. She admitted to over-reacting and said she is PMSing. That is probably true but she blows up like this more times than I can count. I apologized as well as I over-reacted as well and said she was being a b**ch. I think I have said that to her only once before. I reassured that despite the argument I think we are starting to get closer -- but geez that surprised me. I was so careful with this specific issue yet it still backfired on me. I fell like I need to walk on eggshells. I told her that there are literally 1000 decisions I make a day and have to think "what would wife do".
Anyway, we are good now but that was crazy!
My husband and I just won't yell at each other. I mean, we have and do, but it rare. Only because early on, we did a lot!
If I am pissed at him (which I have to admit, its me pissed more than him), I will go cool off before I open my mouth. I tend to word vomit! My husband tends to stay a bit more quite until he blows, then he yells and he's jabby with his words. I cant say we never do this, but it really is rare. It was harder for me to go cool off first, because I am a "solve it right now" person, and my husband can just bury things undertone rug.
I know that isn't the case here, your situation is different. But I know my husband could say that same sentence "I told her that there are literally 1000 decisions I make a day and have to think "what would wife do". One thing that helped is when we could get to a place that "I" wasn't melting down when talking to him.
Its a little something, I dont know if it will help or be of vale in your situation, but that was big for us/me.