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Discussion Starter · #101 ·
"I don’t think I can articulate quite how angry I am.
You sleep with me and then don’t contact me for almost a week and now suddenly I’m the bad guy and getting it from your family.
I will speak with you soon"..

Random message from her to me..my sister told her to quit playing games..ouch ! But seriously what the F**K..
 

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"I don’t think I can articulate quite how angry I am.
You sleep with me and then don’t contact me for almost a week and now suddenly I’m the bad guy and getting it from your family.
I will speak with you soon"..

Random message from her to me..my sister told her to quit playing games..ouch ! But seriously what the F**K..
Dude: do yourself a favor and just ghost her. Do not become embroiled into an argument with her. For your own sake GHOST her. Move on and find a better woman.
 

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There’s no other explanation here than she was trying to get you to support her abd her kid and as another poster postulated, possibly she’s pregnant and wanting you on the hook for child support for the next one.
You’ve played with fire. Hope you don’t get burnt. Wise up and block her and ignore all communication.
 

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"I don’t think I can articulate quite how angry I am.
You sleep with me and then don’t contact me for almost a week and now suddenly I’m the bad guy and getting it from your family.
I will speak with you soon"..

Random message from her to me..my sister told her to quit playing games..ouch ! But seriously what the F**K..

You don’t seem to be getting it. Any contact you have or any response you give her when she contacts you is just continuing and escalating this shtshow.

Every time you respond or have contact with her in any fashion, it is just going to prolong and escalate the drama.

You don’t seem to grasp that the only way to have peace and tranquillity here is to walk away and wash your hands of her.

This is like the war computer in the movie War Games - the only winning move is not to play.
 

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"I don’t think I can articulate quite how angry I am.
You sleep with me and then don’t contact me for almost a week and now suddenly I’m the bad guy and getting it from your family.
I will speak with you soon"..

Random message from her to me..my sister told her to quit playing games..ouch ! But seriously what the F**K..
In a roundabout way, she did you a service on this one.
If her condescending message gave you the smack upside the head, and the closure you apparently needed........
It was worth it.
 

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So we were both 30 when she did cheat..and she is now living in her own place and is financially stable as she works full time and earns a really good living.

I get she wanted to take things slow and I was happy to do that..but inviting me to stay the night and sleeping with me has suggested she is serious about giving this a go.

I just wonder whether me not contacting her is making her think I'm not interested..

Many of you has suggested I shouldn't go there and should move on so I think I really need to give that some thought !
You are assuming she is serious about trying again with you! Stop that.
She is a known cheater! She ruined your marriage and had a child with her OM.
You do KNOW these as facts. Decisions based on facts are more reliable than hope that someone has learned.

Why would you go backwards? She isn’t an honest gal who can be faithful. Those odds are really bad to risk.

You slept with her - so what… obviously people do that all the time - get tested for diseases…I’m sure she also lied about not being close to anyone for 18 months.

Don’t contact her. Your life is better without her drama!
 

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I will speak with you soon"..
And therein lies YOUR problem. You keep engaging. As long as you perform the drama dance, you will remain in her orbit. You had sex with her. Bad decision/bad choice. But it's now history. It would behoove you to let it become ANCIENT history.

I never understand why people get into these drama fests that are destructive and soul-sucking.

Oh, well. Your life. Your choice. And I suggest you kick this skank out of your life and begin making wise choices. Seriously.
 

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I agree… saying you’ll speak with her soon was a downfall.
There no reason to ever speak to her again. She has made her life by being full of manipulation and drama. There’s no reason to be a part of that.

Send her a text that states clearly “there’s no reason for me to ever communicate with you again”
Then block her . Be done with her forever knowing she is one toxic fool.
 

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She did..

"I’ll be honest with you I was pretty disgusted when you didn’t reply to me and I didn’t hear from you after you stayed the night at my place last Tuesday … I’m not into playing games and that’s what it is with you, a game to see how I react or respond. It’s given me some time to think about what I want and I don’t have any space in my life for anyone other than my son right now"
I thought you said you did text her after you spent the night together?
 

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Discussion Starter · #114 ·
I messaged her the moment I got home to say thank you for having me over and said I enjoyed spending time with her..she replied within the hour and said thanks for coming over and that she enjoyed being with me.

i just didn't contact her after that as I wanted To give her space and not be too overwhelming..
 

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Charlie ,have you dated anyone since your divorce? Are you just hanging on to her because of familiarity? This woman did heinous things to you and has an affair child as a memento of her actions. Could you ever truly trust her again? Do you really want to help her raise the seed of her adultery? Anyone else would have left her in the past.
 

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Discussion Starter · #116 ·
After I finalised the divorce I stayed single for about a year and a half..I needed to be in a good place before dating again.

Nothing materialised more than just casual dating and sex.

The ex has for the oast 2 years..messaged on birthdays and Xmas.. but in maybe Feb this year she started messaging asking how I was ? How work was ? To create a conversation..

I ignored these and didn't respond until I finally did in June. And then annoyingly it sent sparks flying..

Crazy !!!
 

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After I finalised the divorce I stayed single for about a year and a half..I needed to be in a good place before dating again.

Nothing materialised more than just casual dating and sex.

The ex has for the oast 2 years..messaged on birthdays and Xmas.. but in maybe Feb this year she started messaging asking how I was ? How work was ? To create a conversation..

I ignored these and didn't respond until I finally did in June. And then annoyingly it sent sparks flying..

Crazy !!!
She's without options and trying to work her way back into your life.
Good stuff.
 

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I messaged her the moment I got home to say thank you for having me over and said I enjoyed spending time with her..she replied within the hour and said thanks for coming over and that she enjoyed being with me.

i just didn't contact her after that as I wanted To give her space and not be too overwhelming..
So it's not true that you didn't message her. Plus what was to stop her sending messages to you if she wanted to?
 

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Now go get tested for STDs and I hope you were the party responsible for prevention of pregnancy and were covered.
Hope that your one night with her wion't be used to blame you for her pregnancy by someone else even if you used protection. Not sure how paternity suits go in UK, here all it takes is the female claiming the male is the father, court becomes involved. Hopefully you aren't faced with dealing with that mess. Her nosing around you and then being p*ssed when you didn't contact her is suspicious.

Yes, STD testing of course.

Lesson you have (hopefully) learned is people usually DON'T change, a leopard doesn't change it's spots and a dog returns to its vomit. Engrave that into your brain.
 

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So I decided to reach out and sent this message:

"I want you to know that for the past 6 days I have not stopped thinking about you !! every minute of every day you're on my mind.

I'm an idiot with good intentions who hoped you would contact me when you were ready.

Just know that I miss having you in my life."

Let's see if she responds ! If she doesn't then I know where I stand..

It took me alot to let her back into my life..so she certainly won't get the opportunity again in the future if it doesn't work out this time.

Thanks again for all of your comments
you have no pride
 
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