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You don't explicitly say it, but from what you wrote, I assume your husband comes from a Latino culture, correct? If so, which one?

That might help clear up any issues which are due to cultural differences.

And regardless of where his family is from, where did you husband actually grow up?
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
Hi Wolfman,

Yes, you are right, he is Latino (From Mexico) and he grew up in Mexico until he was in junior high school and he has been in the Midwest united states ever since.
 

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I live in New Mexico and have a lot of Hispanic and Mexican family members and friends (I'm part Hispanic too). I have NEVER heard the world "blondie" used as a term for a friend. I have been called "blondie" by men who flirt with me because I am blond. It's a way to flirt, not a way one talks to a woman who is just a friend. His family fed you some nonsense. Do they tend to stand up for him no matter what he does?

Your huband was having what is called an emotional affair (EA) with "blondie". Here is a book that might help.

Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity by After Shirley P. Glass

You have no reason to feel guilty for checking his texts/messages when he started to hide from you what he was doing. You have the right to protect yourself as you did.

When I did some snooping that resulted in my finding out that my husband was cheating, he told me that since I snooped, he would never be able to trust me. My reply was that he could always trust me. He could trust that I would also do what was needed to protect my children and myself. And if that means that I have to snoop because he's lying, then so be it.

If you can still get copies of those messages between him and blondie, I think you should make copies. If you ever find out that he is communicating again with "blondie", you should send copies of all the messages/texts to her husband. That should put an end to her flirting with your husband.

What you found them doing in messages is how affairs start... when people start complaining about their spouse and seeking sympathy/support from someone of the opposite sex, it's the start of an affair.
 

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If I'm not mistaken the term "Guera" is Blondie for Mexicans when referring to a white blonde or semi blond female. This term does not have the same connotation in Mexican Spanish as it does in english: unless you are saying "mi guera" = my blondie, this is more than a term of endearment, it is outright a possessive term.

Nonetheless, when women start to trash their man like that to another man, we all know what's in store down the road.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
If I'm not mistaken the term "Guera" is Blondie for Mexicans when referring to a white blonde or semi blond female. This term does not have the same connotation in Mexican Spanish as it does in english: unless you are saying "mi guera" = my blondie, this is more than a term of endearment, it is outright a possessive term.

Nonetheless, when women start to trash their man like that to another man, we all know what's in store down the road.
That's exactly what he called her... "Mi Guera". And his family said it's not a flirt. It doesn't have the same flirty connotation as it does in American culture and not to worry.
 

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I live in New Mexico and have a lot of Hispanic and Mexican family members and friends (I'm part Hispanic too). I have NEVER heard the world "blondie" used as a term for a friend. I have been called "blondie" by men who flirt with me because I am blond. It's a way to flirt, not a way one talks to a woman who is just a friend. His family fed you some nonsense. Do they tend to stand up for him no matter what he does?

Your huband was having what is called an emotional affair (EA) with "blondie". Here is a book that might help.

You have no reason to feel guilty for checking his texts/messages when he started to hide from you what he was doing. You have the right to protect yourself as you did.

When I did some snooping that resulted in my finding out that my husband was cheating, he told me that since I snooped, he would never be able to trust me. My reply was that he could always trust me. He could trust that I would also do what was needed to protect my children and myself. And if that means that I have to snoop because he's lying, then so be it.

If you can still get copies of those messages between him and blondie, I think you should make copies. If you ever find out that he is communicating again with "blondie", you should send copies of all the messages/texts to her husband. That should put an end to her flirting with your husband.

What you found them doing in messages is how affairs start... when people start complaining about their spouse and seeking sympathy/support from someone of the opposite sex, it's the start of an affair.

Thank you for responding. No I no longer have access to the messages since he changed his password that night saying he felt like he was being violated, which I do understand, but I'm not stupid. I knew where she was headed even if he wants to pretend that he doesn't. And he swears up and down he was just trying to be a good friend, but yes. I put an end to that by contacting her and she blocked him. I will definitely read the book. I just don't want to be paranoid about his new friend, but at the same time, I don't want this to happen again. If it does, I'm out of here.
 
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