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Respect your husband to keep a marriage happy, says Barbara Taylor Bradford | Mail Online


Sounds a lot like my grandparent's marriage - never argue in public, etc ...
I like the beginning of the article.. very true, our husbands NEED our Admiration & RESPECT. (It helps if they treat us with Love & Respect though too, setting that example).

RESPECT Definition here .....

1. Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

2. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

3. the condition of being esteemed or honored:




This is a Book that has over 780
reviews ...


Love And Respect By Eggerichs - Book Review

"Love And Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a phenomenal marriage tool that should be in the hands of every husband and wife. This book has drastically changed my approach to marriage, especially helping my husband and I understand each other and our responses a bit better. This book highlights some of the greatest communication mysteries that have perplexed husbands and wives for centuries! Eggerichs and his wife discovered a truth regarding marriages found in Ephesians 5:33,

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Eggerichs and his wife began to focus on love and respect in their own marriage and saw instant change begin to take place. They began speaking on this obvious truth laid out for husbands and wives in Ephesians, eventually creating the Love and Respect Marriage Conference. Thousands and thousands of marriages were being encouraged and many saved from the threat of divorce by attending the conference, which inspired Eggerichs to expand on the love and respect principle in this book.


In Love And Respect,

Eggerichs immediately challenges that love alone is not enough for marriage. He refers back to Ephesians 5:33 and explains why respecting your husband is so vital in a marriage relationship and how respecting your husband fulfills a huge need he, and every man was designed by God to have. Eggerichs also acknowledges the “husband audience” explaining the need all wives have to feel unconditionally loved and how constantly affirming that love will motivate wives to respect them. Eggerichs does a fantastic job of addressing both husbands and wives, their needs, as well as what each is responsible for in their marriage relationship.

Eggerichs presents three different cycles that help to evaluate marriage relationships. Being aware of these cycles in your marriage will definitely challenge the way you love and respect your spouse.
The first cycle he mentions is The Crazy Cycle. This is where wives respond to their husband with contempt or disrespect because they feel unloved and husbands get discouraged and stonewall, isolating themselves to avoid feeling disrespected, which in turn makes wives feel unloved.

These emotions drive husbands and wives to act out in many different ways, but putting it simply her negative responses are motivated by not feeling loved and his negative responses are motivated by not feeling respected. God commands us to love and respect in Ephesians because he created us with those needs. When those needs are not met, we respond selfishly.

The second cycle mentioned is referred to as The Energizing Cycle, in which case a husband or wife initiates a positive response, energizing the other to reciprocate a positive response. This is a great cycle in marriage, until someone drops the ball and no one desires to initiate again. If a husband or wife fails to initiate the marriage will quickly land back into The Crazy Cycle.

The third and final cycle is known as The Rewarded Cycle. This is where a husband or wife responds out of love and respect regardless of how the other spouse is behaving. This cycle requires a selfless attitude and humility, and it is a perfect example of what Christ would want husbands and wives to follow.

This book is filled with great examples, personal testimonies, and spot-on truths to many different trials husbands and wives face in a marriage relationship. This book gives a clear depiction of what God calls us to live out in marriage and it has fantastic solutions to how we can begin improving our relationships. I recommend that you get this book as soon as possible and read it with your spouse! Knowledge is power and this book brings a lot to the table! It will transform your marriage!
 

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"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 12:4
There is an old story that beautifully illustrates the principle of honor within marriage.

A drunkard husband, spending the evening with his jovial companions at a tavern, boasted that if he took a group of his friends home with him at midnight and asked his Christian wife to get up and cook supper for them, she would do it without complaint. The crowd considered it a vain boast and dared him to try it. So the drunken crowd followed him home, and he made the unreasonable demands of his wife. She obeyed, dressed, came down, and prepared a very nice supper and served it as cheerfully as if she had been expecting them.

After supper one of the men asked her how she could be so kind when they had been so unreasonable and when she did not approve of their conduct. Her reply was: "Sir, when my husband and I were married, we were both sinners. It has pleased God to call me out of that dangerous condition. My husband continues in it. I tremble for his future state. Were he to die as he is, he would be miserable forever. I think it my duty to render his present existence as comfortable as possible." Not long after, her husband was saved.

The notion of honor seems quaint and outdated to many in the modern world, but it is at the very foundation of any healthy and loving relationship. The Hebrew word for honor means “to give something weight—to treat it as valuable or important.” When we show disrespect in words or actions, we are revealing a failure of love. Marriages do not usually collapse suddenly. Instead they fall due to a long process of erosion that continues unchecked, and undermines the foundation.

Today’s Proverbs Precept:
It is not possible to love someone as you should without also treating them with honor and respect.
 

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Today’s Proverbs Precept:
It is not possible to love someone as you should without also treating them with honor and respect.
I am not sure that waking up in the middle of the night and cheerfully cooking dinner for her drunken husband and his drunken friends is honoring him or respecting him.

I'm of the belief that in marriage each spouse has to obligation to encourage the other to be the best person they can be. Her husband was not being the best person he could be and thus she should not encourage his drunken behavior and unreasonable antics.

The story you presented is cute. But it's a story.
 

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yes agree totally, it does have to go both ways, so hard to find today, but I have found if I get my eyes off her and try to change myself for myself it brings about the changes she needs in me .
 

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The notion of honor seems quaint and outdated to many in the modern world, but it is at the very foundation of any healthy and loving relationship. The Hebrew word for honor means “to give something weight—to treat it as valuable or important.” When we show disrespect in words or actions, we are revealing a failure of love. Marriages do not usually collapse suddenly. Instead they fall due to a long process of erosion that continues unchecked, and undermines the foundation.

Today’s Proverbs Precept:
It is not possible to love someone as you should without also treating them with honor and respect.
I agree with all of these words - when the man loves, honors & cherishs his wife showing that fine Leadership to Protect & Provide....

Me personally... I have always looked upon the Proverbs 31 woman as a fine model....the words show a grand respect for her husband, her marriage...

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...............
How to Be a Proverbs 31 Wife in a Modern World


10 A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies; so buy her diamonds.

11 Her husband knows that she has everything under control and he has nothing to complain about.

12 She is the source of the goodness in his life, not the harm.

13 She selects denim and cotton-poly blends from the discount rack and works eagerly with her hands to remove the price stickers so her children will not know their trendy clothes were bought on
clearance.

14 She shops at Target and WalMart and occasionally goes all the way across town to Nordstroms because the Holy Spirit says she is worth it.

15 She is up before the sun, talking to Papa so that the days fullness is immersed in the prosperity of peace. The hour comes and she rushes out of her secret place. She is off making breakfast, doing laundry, sharing a good word to her husband going out the door, catching the last of her lashes with mascara to enhance the beauty that runs beneath the surface.

16 She considers an old dresser at a yard sale and buys it, and with the money she saved on her grocery bill, she is able to buy paint and new knobs for the dresser.

17 She sets about her work vigorously; she can carry two loads of laundry and a child without breaking a sweat and walks towards her calling from God all the while tending to her husband’s needs at the day’s end.

18 She sells the dresser she bought and refinished on E-Bay and stays up late waiting to see how much profit she’s made.

19 She tends to the needs of her children and sees beyond the smudged faces and squabbles to the gold each carries within, daily calling it forth.

20 God places lonely people around her family’s dinner table because Papa trusts her to nourish not only their bodies but their souls and spirits as well.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; it’s too bad if they don’t like the bright red hats and scarves; at least they’ll be warm this winter.

22 She sews or knits and finds other creative expressions for her hands knowing whatever she touches adds beauty and life to her home.

23 Her husband goes off to work, where he sits among other businessmen.

24 She knows the value of the gifts God has given her from monetary to relational, stewarding faithfully the destinies of those in her care.

25 Outwardly, she is clothed with strength and dignity, even if she’s missing a bra and can’t find a matching outfit because she’s a little behind on laundry.She can laugh at the days past and at the days to come because God is good all the time.

26 She speaks with wisdom, and consistent instruction and impartation are on her tongue.

27 She pays the bills and makes sure everyone gets to the right swimming lessons on the right day and sets aside time to pray for a friend on the phone. She does not eat the bread of idleness because she is trying to avoid carbs yet Starbucks once a week is a delight.

28 Her children yell, “Thanks, Mom” as they grab their coat to run out the door. Her husband also says,

29 “Thanks, Babe. You’re the best.” What’s for dinner?

30 Charm only gets you so far, and beauty is temporary, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be
praised with constant words of affirmation, treats, treasures, and…date nights.

31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her respect wherever she goes.
 

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Sounds a lot like my grandparent's marriage - never argue in public, etc ...
THIS! Biggest pet peeve is being disrespected in front of people. Its a no-win situation for me. Either I join her in the dumps and risk looking petty or I take the high road and risk looking like a doormat.

Took me awhile to effectively learn calm and strong methods for sticking up for myself.

The key I found was focusing on her behaviour like "I do not appreciate the way you are speaking with me. It's disrespectful. We can talk about this in private." I didn't feel stupid that way..

We are getting better though. Comes with maturity on both our parts I suppose
 

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If you love someone, don't you automatically "like and admire" him? Don't all those feelings go hand in hand?
You certainly have to like him and if you don't admire him, then doesn't that make your love for him wain?
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