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Little update

5135 Views 199 Replies 26 Participants Last post by  Openminded
So, BF and I just got back from a lovely trip to Mexico, and he picked his youngest daughter up the day after we got back. She's been with us since Wednesday, and it feels like forever! Her mother was all set to get a temp job with odd hours, and daughter was going to move in with us full time (except weekends) until June. Thank God that her mother didn't pass the drug test, and didn't get the job.

The first 2 days that we had daughter, she was in a terrible mood, glaring at me and otherwise giving 1 word answers or grunts when I spoke to her. BF talked to her and she's been much better the last couple days.

They've kind of been doing their own thing, and leaving me out again I'm not sure if she just missed her Dad and I'm reading too far into this, or if she's back to not wanting me around. Today, they went to a play place and I'm at home. Last night. She ran after her Dad to go with him to get milk, rather than spend 10 mins alone with me.

I talked to BF and he said that he doesn't think she's back to her old antics, and I extended an olive branch earlier to her. I asked her if she'd like to have a nail and toenail painting fiesta with me. First thing she did: point at her Dad's feet and said, "I wanna paint Dada's toes!!" It had to be explained to her that dada wouldn't be taking part and that it was just a girl's thing. Do I have a right to expect her to know that nail painting is more of a female thing, or am I expecting too much from a 12 year old?

Her Dad maintains that she just missed him while we were away, and I get that, but to a point. So, I left to go on a dog walk, and he talked to her. Apparently, he's going to be leaving the house so that her and I can spend some time together this evening. He said that I need to try with her and make some effort. I agree and that's what the olive branch was for. I'm worried about tonight, only have so much more "try" in me with this kid, and really don't want to be left alone with her. If she can't be alone for 10 mins with me, what the hell is she going to do with a couple hours without her dada?!?

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but really do appreciate the advice and tips that you all give. ☺
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@Ursula my daughter will be six at the end of this month and she doesn’t talk or behave as childishly as your boyfriends daughter.
Has this child ever been seen by a psychologist?
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This is exactly like what I had with my ex and his snotty daughter. She was 16 when I came into the picture so no baby talk but she was spoiled and excluded me all the time. It frankly only got worse as she got into adulthood and ex was just like your bf in that he didn't like conflict and buried his head in the sand.

I could've even lived with her snottiness except ex demanded I kiss her ass. She didn't have to make any effort at all but I was supposed to ask about her, go out my way to engage her, and show up to her events where I'd be pretty much ignored. It allowed him to avoid dealing with her by blaming me for insufficiently kissing her ass.

Now granted she was much older and this girl is 12 so arguably you should make more effort. But the fact that your bf refuses to address her manipulative behavior, and expects you to not only tolerate it but to avoid "offending" his manipulative brat does not bode well. On top of that you're supposed to chase her while she treats you like crap and even be left alone with her. It further sets you up to fail and still have it be your fault.

He's frankly not that good of a catch with this brat and few women will put up with it.

IMHO, which you are of course free to ignore, you should not have moved in. You need your own place where you can be when it's time for him to cater to baby. You're living there and hoping to God she doesn't end up spending more time there, and he's going to put more and more of the blame on you to avoid dealing with the fact that he's got a manipulative brat.

Been there, have the t-shirt.

Get your own place and reevaluate living together when she's older. If he can't deal with that let him see if he can find another woman to put up with this.
I really wish I could like this more than once.
@Ursula this guy is…….delusional.
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