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Little update

5135 Views 199 Replies 26 Participants Last post by  Openminded
So, BF and I just got back from a lovely trip to Mexico, and he picked his youngest daughter up the day after we got back. She's been with us since Wednesday, and it feels like forever! Her mother was all set to get a temp job with odd hours, and daughter was going to move in with us full time (except weekends) until June. Thank God that her mother didn't pass the drug test, and didn't get the job.

The first 2 days that we had daughter, she was in a terrible mood, glaring at me and otherwise giving 1 word answers or grunts when I spoke to her. BF talked to her and she's been much better the last couple days.

They've kind of been doing their own thing, and leaving me out again I'm not sure if she just missed her Dad and I'm reading too far into this, or if she's back to not wanting me around. Today, they went to a play place and I'm at home. Last night. She ran after her Dad to go with him to get milk, rather than spend 10 mins alone with me.

I talked to BF and he said that he doesn't think she's back to her old antics, and I extended an olive branch earlier to her. I asked her if she'd like to have a nail and toenail painting fiesta with me. First thing she did: point at her Dad's feet and said, "I wanna paint Dada's toes!!" It had to be explained to her that dada wouldn't be taking part and that it was just a girl's thing. Do I have a right to expect her to know that nail painting is more of a female thing, or am I expecting too much from a 12 year old?

Her Dad maintains that she just missed him while we were away, and I get that, but to a point. So, I left to go on a dog walk, and he talked to her. Apparently, he's going to be leaving the house so that her and I can spend some time together this evening. He said that I need to try with her and make some effort. I agree and that's what the olive branch was for. I'm worried about tonight, only have so much more "try" in me with this kid, and really don't want to be left alone with her. If she can't be alone for 10 mins with me, what the hell is she going to do with a couple hours without her dada?!?

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but really do appreciate the advice and tips that you all give. ☺
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Hey 👋 @Ursula, I’m not convinced your boyfriend is really trying to fix this situation at all. It seems like in the big scheme of things, he would prefer you to just accept all that his daughter serves.

If he valued his relationship with you more substantially, he would be doing more to address his daughter’s poor behaviour towards you. That he isn’t, ought to tell you where you really stand.
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