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I have been married to my wife just over a year, and we have been together for over 3 years.

A few of my friends are experiencing huge obstacles and issues in their relationships with their wives and girlfriends. Often times they ask me how I manage to maintain a healthy relationship with my wife and how we avoid huge issues.

My answer was usually something along the lines, "I don't know, I guess we're compatible."

However, I realized, this answer was not adequate and did not truly address their concerns. So I began thinking hard why my relationship with my wife is so good, and why are some of my close friends experiencing these issues.

I thought about this for a while, and realized that my wife gets really excited and grateful when I do all these small little thoughtful things.

She loves flowers, especially Orchids, so I try to surprise her with flowers about once a month, on regular weekday.

If I included a personal note or letter with the flowers, the thoughtfulness factor goes up at least 10 fold. The flowers are nice, but the personal letter takes more effort, you can't purchase it with money, so it's that much more effective.

Which one of the following do you think was more effective in nurturing our relationship?:

1. Like all women, she loves jewelery. So I spent $1000 on a nice necklace, and she loves it.

2. I decided to help her out a bit more with the household chores and surprised her with a personal love poem along with a romantic dinner that I cooked myself.

The second one only cost me $30 to buy the food. But it was through the roof regarding its thoughtfulness factor.

It seems the accumulation of little thoughtful deeds go a very long way. They have worked for me.

She loves when I write simple little love poems for her. She displays them all over the house. Her encouragement and positive feedback motivated me to create, so that I may share some of these poems with other couples in need of thoughtful little deeds.

In the end, it doesn't have to be poetry, or dinners if you don't like to cook. But I'm sure there are countless things that we can all figure out that we enjoy doing or don't mind doing.

We just need to figure out what our partners enjoy and what they need assistance with. And work with that.

I would love to make this post into a brainstorming session. So please post some suggestions regarding your own relationship and what are some of the little things that you may do that will bring in plenty thoughtfulness points.

Our partners are all different, so I'm hoping to see some unique ideas.

Premium Member
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Here is something I did that is unique & just flooded my world in appreciation for my spouse one night - and ever since.

After making a "Move Maker video" (this software came free on our older computer) for my oldest son's Graduation party, I decided to do this for US. So I scanned a bunch of our favorite older pics over the years, new digital ones, added a few touching love songs, put this together & played it back. Brought tears to my eyes & flooded me with emotion -and gratitude for all of these years together.

Surprise your spouse with that some day.

I got so into this, I made one for a friend - scanned some of her older pics/wedding pics , used the same song as I did in our original, She told me when she played this for her husband, he teared up and was wonderful to her for a week (anyway)!
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