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So my husband works long hours and I stay at home and watch our child and another little kiddo. I know he is tired when he gets home but as soon as our child is down for the night he passes out in his chair. Some nights he doesn't even come to bed. I have been losing the baby weight and feel like I am getting back to my pre baby figure...I just feel like he would rather sleep in his chair or watch tv than hang out with me. We were doing really great for a while and now the last month or so our sex life has been crap. I don't want to have to beg him for sex that is a total turn-off for me. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
 

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So my husband works long hours and I stay at home and watch our child and another little kiddo. I know he is tired when he gets home but as soon as our child is down for the night he passes out in his chair. Some nights he doesn't even come to bed. I have been losing the baby weight and feel like I am getting back to my pre baby figure...I just feel like he would rather sleep in his chair or watch tv than hang out with me. We were doing really great for a while and now the last month or so our sex life has been crap. I don't want to have to beg him for sex that is a total turn-off for me. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
In 2005, me and a few other people started a company. It had to be the most stressful time in my life. I worked non-stop, often sleeping in my office, many all-nighters ... one of those situations where you work or die ... the company was always "this close" to going under. My normally high sex drive at that time dropped to zero. All I wanted to do when I wasn't working was sleep as I was constantly feeling sleep deprived. I was a wreck. It was almost a relief in that the investors sold off the company, transferred the assets and let go of everybody. My sex drive eventually returned.

I might suggest a job with more normal hours, if possible. In the meantime, I would go with the previous suggestion :)
 

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I'm kinda in the same boat only wifey and I alternate who is tired! I work 24 hour shifts 7a-7a 50 miles from home every third day. My wife works 3 days per week, 12 hour shifts, 7p-7a. There are other dynamics in my marriage that make it not so good (another topic still evolving). I would find what makes him tick sexually and play on that OR perhaps subtle hints throughout the day like a txt message or two hinting how much you want him, and when he gets home, make it a point to initiate gentle contact when you're near him or in passing. You know, a gentle touch on his arm, a rub to the back when you walk by, touching under the table when eating, etc... Give him that 'look' that shows him you are in the mood. Do/say/appear differently (body language) to peak his curiosity.

I suspect you will also be advised that you two should talk about your concern, and you should, but maybe, just maybe it will be easier after a night of passion or two? Good Luck!
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What would I love my wife to do for me when I get home from work, and she has that day off?


Dinner is ready (or order in) as a surprise.

Eat together and talk about our day.

I personally don't like it when my wifee asks me a lot about my day at work. I leave work at work when I get home. Just my thing.

If I'm tired and crash for a bit on the couch, my wife cuddles to my side with my arm around her under the blanket. Then later she takes the initiative, starts licking / kissing my neck and puts her hand in my underwear.........she's already had a shower and is smelling nice.

That works for me.


If my wife wanted "us time" almost right after I walked in the front door, I might go for that if I'm not too tired, 50 / 50 on that one.
 

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Leave him a note by his coffee cup "I need you tonight big boy so save me some energy and help me get the kids to bed easily." or send a text message of you in as suggestive an outfit as you dare with the message, "guess what I'm thinking?" make up a dirty limerick and text it to him.

Dirty and suggestive texting is the very best way to make him think about you all day so when he gets home, he can't wait to get the kids in bed!

I wish they had cell phones back when our kids were little. Holy cow that could have made life so much better.
 

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southern, how often would he be happy with and how often do you want? The problem is any dynamic where you're the pursuer may work against you some.
 
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