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Been together 3 years. Married for over 15 months. We used to be hot for each other. Not anymore. She never wants to touch me. It hurts me. I have no self esteem. None! She took it away. This time I went for personality instead of looks. Don’t get me wrong I know my wife is beautiful. We might have boring sex 2 or 3 times a month. I heard that she used to have profiles on about all of the hookup dating sites. I got nosy. When we first met she would talk about all kinds of things. She was cheated on. I ask her if it was intamacy issue. She said we were together 10-14 years and we did it 5 times a week. I thought wow. She would talk this big sex game but, not for me . It was great for 6 months. Then down hill. Fast. She would meet people online and drive to other counties to hook up.It was a first date or second. Or maybe just talked on line and she wanted to have sex so off she went. First dates. They would asked for sex and or oral sex. She talked about how good she was at it. First dates, maybe a few she waited until the second . What do I do? It’s killing me.
 

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Been together 3 years. Married for over 15 months. We used to be hot for each other. Not anymore. She never wants to touch me. It hurts me. I have no self esteem. None! She took it away. This time I went for personality instead of looks. Don’t get me wrong I know my wife is beautiful. We might have boring sex 2 or 3 times a month. I heard that she used to have profiles on about all of the hookup dating sites. I got nosy. When we first met she would talk about all kinds of things. She was cheated on. I ask her if it was intamacy issue. She said we were together 10-14 years and we did it 5 times a week. I thought wow. She would talk this big sex game but, not for me . It was great for 6 months. Then down hill. Fast. She would meet people online and drive to other counties to hook up.It was a first date or second. Or maybe just talked on line and she wanted to have sex so off she went. First dates. They would asked for sex and or oral sex. She talked about how good she was at it. First dates, maybe a few she waited until the second . What do I do? It’s killing me.
Find someone who treats you right.
 

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She would talk this big sex game but, not for me.
What do I do? It’s killing me.
I honestly don't know what you do. But I do know how it kills us. You're right, it takes away every last vestige of self-opinion we have, to know that our wives are just "not that in to" us.....and, have been, and are, "in to" other men.

We are here to deliver the "important" stuff. Like comfortable lifestyle, picket fence, 2.4 kids. Our needs, our desires, our sexuality, are not important to our wives. We are a sperm donor and a paycheck.

In many cases, this term is highly accurate and explains it:

Alpha Widow

I'm not a "red pill" guy but there's a story on there that is so very good at the description. These women know that we, the "beta" men, are reliable and self-sacrificing, make good husbands and fathers. "Fun" guys get laid without marrying the chick. Hell, most of the time they don't even make him use a condom.

If I went by my feelings, I would also tell you to kick her to the curb. But I'm a church boy who got raised that divorce cannot be for "any reason". In my psyche, there has to be current adulterous action. If there is, then have at it and get your life back.
 

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You made a mistake up front.

Don't continue that.

Sounds like you'll wallow looking for a magic fix but there isn't one.
 

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Been together 3 years. Married for over 15 months. We used to be hot for each other. Not anymore. She never wants to touch me. It hurts me. I have no self esteem. None! She took it away. This time I went for personality instead of looks. Don’t get me wrong I know my wife is beautiful. We might have boring sex 2 or 3 times a month. I heard that she used to have profiles on about all of the hookup dating sites. I got nosy. When we first met she would talk about all kinds of things. She was cheated on. I ask her if it was intamacy issue. She said we were together 10-14 years and we did it 5 times a week. I thought wow. She would talk this big sex game but, not for me . It was great for 6 months. Then down hill. Fast. She would meet people online and drive to other counties to hook up.It was a first date or second. Or maybe just talked on line and she wanted to have sex so off she went. First dates. They would asked for sex and or oral sex. She talked about how good she was at it. First dates, maybe a few she waited until the second . What do I do? It’s killing me.
Your only problem is your inaction. Why are you posting this, are you looking for sympathy?
 

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Why did you marry her???????
That's my question.

Why on earth would you marry a woman you knew was basically using hookup websites to go out and have NSA sex with anyone who would have her? I'm kind of guessing - from what you wrote - that it's because she 'dazzled' you with a whole lot of hot monkey sex and you wouldn't be the first man who didn't use his big head to do his thinking for him. :frown2:
 

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If only M three years, and you have proof she's sleeping around I'm going to cut to the chase here.

Serve her quickly with D papers, tell HER to move out now, now, now, before you have to pay her alimony after you D.

Right now, you can get out quick and clean, hang on to the sleeping around proof forever. Reread if you feel like calling her.

I'm not going to ask why you married her, at this point it's irrelevant.

It may be a big hit to your ego to realize you were snookered but it will only hurt more emotionally and pridefully the longer you wait.

First protect your finances, then serve her quickly.

Don't think you can change her actions by simply asking her to stop, and how could she do this to you.

The pain will quickly fade as you split, and subsequently don't have to spend even a moment wondering if your "wife" is out giving BJs.
 

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Canesdadof5 said:
It was great for 6 months. Then down hill. Fast.
Ragnar Ragnasson said:
First protect your finances, then serve her quickly.
If this girl EVER changes, it will be a miracle ... I don't discount the possibility of it, but anyone who starts cheating after 6 months of marriage has trained their sexual appetite and responses in all the wrong ways to be married. There will be no quick change.

Don't put yourself through this.... if she's cheating, just get out. Go to a lawyer before you make any actions. Find out exactly where you stand, and where you are going to be in the divorce. Your marriage is not worth the pain it's going to cause you. Get loose, and find someone who doesn't demonstrate moral turpitude.
 

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If I read this correctly she was doing this BEFORE they were together not during. Did she disclose this to you before you were married? Did you know about her behavior prior to getting serious? If you accepted it then I don’t see the issue now except for the fact you two are no longer having sex. That part may be able to be fixed. She might just like the newness of sex and not the monogamy of it
 

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Find a good lawyer today. You'll need one sooner or later. From the looks of it...sooner. Don't be the rough neck with the paycheck while your W is out doing whatever. D today.
 
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