do you have any? What are they?
For me:
I will never stay in a relationship with someone that is not sexually compatible.
I will never stay in a relationship with a non communicator.
I won't introduce my kids to a new partner in under 12 months.
I have a great life which is busy, full of friends and family, a new partner can add to that but not detract.
I don't want a stepdad for my kids, the have 2 functioning parents already.
I wont be a stepmum to someone else's kids. I am happy to be a "bonus" person/adult in their lives.
I have no desire to live with someone for many years.
There has to be protection around finances, what I have is for me and my kids. What he has is for him and his kids.
We need to share some common interests.
The really big one for me was that he should have an amicable situation with his ex. I do with mine and don't want to deal with other peoples problems from their past marriage.
However the man I am dating has a very messy situation so I am learning to bend a bit on this. He is respectful of my boundaries and does not draw me into his problems. We have had some discussions about his situation but I have made it clear that I am there to listen but not to offer advice. He has to work through his own issues.
I am sure there are plenty more but I would like to hear what self imposed guidelines and rules people set for themselves when looking at relationships post divorce.
For me:
I will never stay in a relationship with someone that is not sexually compatible.
I will never stay in a relationship with a non communicator.
I won't introduce my kids to a new partner in under 12 months.
I have a great life which is busy, full of friends and family, a new partner can add to that but not detract.
I don't want a stepdad for my kids, the have 2 functioning parents already.
I wont be a stepmum to someone else's kids. I am happy to be a "bonus" person/adult in their lives.
I have no desire to live with someone for many years.
There has to be protection around finances, what I have is for me and my kids. What he has is for him and his kids.
We need to share some common interests.
The really big one for me was that he should have an amicable situation with his ex. I do with mine and don't want to deal with other peoples problems from their past marriage.
However the man I am dating has a very messy situation so I am learning to bend a bit on this. He is respectful of my boundaries and does not draw me into his problems. We have had some discussions about his situation but I have made it clear that I am there to listen but not to offer advice. He has to work through his own issues.
I am sure there are plenty more but I would like to hear what self imposed guidelines and rules people set for themselves when looking at relationships post divorce.