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124 Posts
Honey Bunny,
I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. I know that you have said that you're mine and that you want to grow old with me, but your body language when I am actually around says something different. I am getting the vibe that you are having to endure my pressence and that you really aren't sure about your feelings toward me.
I still feel like I am in limbo and that I am an outsider visiting my own house. You seem to be taking everything that I do or say as an attack on you or that I have some hidden meaning behind my words/actions, but all I want to do is spend time with you and rekindle the flame that was once there. Do you think this is possible, or am I expecting too much too soon? From the text conversations and the phone conversations I was expecting a warmer welcome, but you seem distant. All I want is for you to be happy and if your happiness means us separating, then that is what we should do. I don't want to be forcing myself on you, or have you feel obligated to let me have sex. I feel bad for focussing so much on the sex aspect, but I love you and haven't seen you for two weeks so I want to be with you and touch you as much as possible. Maybe this is smothering you and you feel like I'm being clingy, but I just feel like you are slipping away from me and I don't know how to stop it.
You said that the two weeks has flown by for you and that it isn't so bad, you have surprised yourself as to how well you have coped with being alone. Does this mean that you are now ready for me to be gone? Is this how I made you feel for the last couple of years? It just makes me feel sick to think this is how you have been feeling...
Bottom line is that you said that you weren't happy, and weren't sure about how you felt about me anymore. Yes, I know that was over a month ago and things have changed, but have they? Are you happy, or happier now? I'm scared out of my mind and I don't want to say the wrong things to you, but I also don't want to not communicate. (I get flustered when we talk directly, so unfortunately I need to write it down...) I just feel like you aren't really attracted to me anylonger and that you don't really know how to tell me, or where you want to go from here. I know you are worried about how this will affect our kids, but either way, if you are not happy they will feel that too.
I really want to make this work, even if it takes me courting and winning your heart back...but I don't want to waste either of our time if you don't feel any spark. Please think about this before answering. I don't want any resentment or feeling that you sacrificed your happiness for the good of our family. That's not something I want to find out later in life. You are the best thing that has happened to me and I'm sorry it took THIS for me to realize how I truly feel about you. I can't stand the thought of losing you, but it would be worse to find out that you were not happy for any longer than you already have been.
I love you and I'm sure I always will, no matter how this comes out. But if you have felt unloved for the last few years as you have stated, I will understand if you don't want to continue.
Love always, Coldshoulder.
I wrote this letter earlier today with the thoughts of giving it to my wife...but she showed some genuine (or at least perceived genuine) affection this evening...I'm not quite sure where we stand. I thought all was going quite well, but when I returned from my shift away, she was distant and not that affectionate...I thought, the way she was responding to my text messages and phone calls that she was ready to "jump my bonz", but in reality I had to talk her into a quicky...which I found somewhat hurtful...I've been out of the house for two weeks, wouldn't you think that you would feel the urge to be sexual when the lights went out? I was a little put out. Maybe I'm being a little sensitive and should grow a pair, but I really thought I was in for a night of aerobic sex, and I got the carousel ride.
I was expecting some fireworks and thrills, but instead got the "well I guess, if I have to..."
Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the action...but I was hoping to have my hair blown back...
Have I moved on and don't know it? or am I missing something?
Later.
I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. I know that you have said that you're mine and that you want to grow old with me, but your body language when I am actually around says something different. I am getting the vibe that you are having to endure my pressence and that you really aren't sure about your feelings toward me.
I still feel like I am in limbo and that I am an outsider visiting my own house. You seem to be taking everything that I do or say as an attack on you or that I have some hidden meaning behind my words/actions, but all I want to do is spend time with you and rekindle the flame that was once there. Do you think this is possible, or am I expecting too much too soon? From the text conversations and the phone conversations I was expecting a warmer welcome, but you seem distant. All I want is for you to be happy and if your happiness means us separating, then that is what we should do. I don't want to be forcing myself on you, or have you feel obligated to let me have sex. I feel bad for focussing so much on the sex aspect, but I love you and haven't seen you for two weeks so I want to be with you and touch you as much as possible. Maybe this is smothering you and you feel like I'm being clingy, but I just feel like you are slipping away from me and I don't know how to stop it.
You said that the two weeks has flown by for you and that it isn't so bad, you have surprised yourself as to how well you have coped with being alone. Does this mean that you are now ready for me to be gone? Is this how I made you feel for the last couple of years? It just makes me feel sick to think this is how you have been feeling...
Bottom line is that you said that you weren't happy, and weren't sure about how you felt about me anymore. Yes, I know that was over a month ago and things have changed, but have they? Are you happy, or happier now? I'm scared out of my mind and I don't want to say the wrong things to you, but I also don't want to not communicate. (I get flustered when we talk directly, so unfortunately I need to write it down...) I just feel like you aren't really attracted to me anylonger and that you don't really know how to tell me, or where you want to go from here. I know you are worried about how this will affect our kids, but either way, if you are not happy they will feel that too.
I really want to make this work, even if it takes me courting and winning your heart back...but I don't want to waste either of our time if you don't feel any spark. Please think about this before answering. I don't want any resentment or feeling that you sacrificed your happiness for the good of our family. That's not something I want to find out later in life. You are the best thing that has happened to me and I'm sorry it took THIS for me to realize how I truly feel about you. I can't stand the thought of losing you, but it would be worse to find out that you were not happy for any longer than you already have been.
I love you and I'm sure I always will, no matter how this comes out. But if you have felt unloved for the last few years as you have stated, I will understand if you don't want to continue.
Love always, Coldshoulder.
I wrote this letter earlier today with the thoughts of giving it to my wife...but she showed some genuine (or at least perceived genuine) affection this evening...I'm not quite sure where we stand. I thought all was going quite well, but when I returned from my shift away, she was distant and not that affectionate...I thought, the way she was responding to my text messages and phone calls that she was ready to "jump my bonz", but in reality I had to talk her into a quicky...which I found somewhat hurtful...I've been out of the house for two weeks, wouldn't you think that you would feel the urge to be sexual when the lights went out? I was a little put out. Maybe I'm being a little sensitive and should grow a pair, but I really thought I was in for a night of aerobic sex, and I got the carousel ride.
I was expecting some fireworks and thrills, but instead got the "well I guess, if I have to..."
Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the action...but I was hoping to have my hair blown back...
Have I moved on and don't know it? or am I missing something?
Later.