Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
453 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So many of us BS are on a search to figure this all out, the how's and whys. It tires me out thinking about it, although it is fascinating. I think about my wife's cheating during most of my waking hours, it's always there, maybe not at the forefront of my thoughts all the time but if not, it's in the background.

I have to admit that this has forced me to look deep within myself .Why did it hurt so much, why couldn't I handle it better? Why did I put her on such a pedestal? Why did I believe that I could not live without her?

I' m trying to answer those questions, but most of all I finally realized that I lost myself during my 18 years of marriage. She was everything to me, I based my happiness on her, I entrusted my heart and emotional safety to her and she crushed it.

So now that she's gone, I am using this opportunity to reconnect with myself and discover who I am. I know that I can survive without her, I can take care of myself and my daughter quite well.

Life now is simple. I don't watch TV, I don't read books like I used to, I don't follow or care about sports like I used to. I look forward to going to bed, I enjoy work more than ever and taking long walks and sitting in the sun thinking and playing games and talking to my daughter.

I appreciate the time I have left with my elderly mother and I hug her more. I like exercising and I eat exactly the amount I need and no more. I pray when I walk, when I'm in bed, when I'm working in the yard. I appreciate nice people who do thoughtful things for me and others. And I realize time is passing and I need to use my life in a worthwhile way.

So thanks STBXW, you forced me to stop, think, notice and rethink everything. You taught me what to look for in a woman, the polar opposite of what you have become. It's too bad you had to nearly kill me, but you woke me up and I'll always have you to thanks for that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
I have had similar feelings to this. I even started to write an email to my wife along these lines, but felt it was better kept to myself. I am not really a silver lining type of guy, but these gut wrenching realizations may be the silver lining coming out of these messed up situations.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top