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Discussion Starter #1
If anyone is interested, here's my story from this site.

Anyway, today I finally went and paid the lawyer and my wife should be receiving notice in the next few days. I feel good. I actually joined match 2 weeks ago and have emailed a few people but i haven't gotten much response. I suspect that it's because my relationship status there is "separated." I hope that's the reason why. lol

My main concern is the house. We owe about $380K on the house and it's probably only worth about $270. Something along those lines. I do have an apartment in the house that I could possibly rent out, but even with that rental income the mortgage would still be tough for me. I could take on a second job to help things but then why am I going to work so hard for a house that is so far under water? It just doesn't seem to make much sense.

No one in my family or friends have been through a divorce within the past 30 years. None of them have had a problem with being underwater with their mortgage.

I'm looking for any and all advice here. Please!:)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Home Affordable Modification Program
See if your mortgage holder participates.
I was actually going to call the bank tomorrow to see what they had to say. I'm really not counting on good news because there would have to be a drastic reduction in the mortgage to help keep me in the house.

I don't want to leave the house and ruin my credit but I also don't want to live in a house struggling. Sometimes I think it's better to take a hit with everything and start with a clean slate somewhere else.
 

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I was actually going to call the bank tomorrow to see what they had to say. I'm really not counting on good news because there would have to be a drastic reduction in the mortgage to help keep me in the house.

I don't want to leave the house and ruin my credit but I also don't want to live in a house struggling. Sometimes I think it's better to take a hit with everything and start with a clean slate somewhere else.
If you qualify they will drop your interest to 2%. Then over the course of 5 years they will go up to whatever the going rate is at the time of the mod. I had to do it and my payment dropped $900. They also dropped $35,000 of the principal. I was underwater too. I will take a 40 point drop on my score for a yr but I get to keep my house.
 

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Good luck with that one. Hopefully your bank will participate in one of the government-backed programs. I believe the program is called HAMP (for people going through divorce or illness). My bank did not participate. I had 3/4 equity in our house, but the bank finagled that and got a judge to allow foreclosure. The bankruptcy trustee even offered to pay them from proceeds from another property. Furthermore, they wouldn't work with me at mediation. Now they've got a house which they can not sell. Never trust a bank to do anything logical! Wishing you the best!
 

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Good luck with that one. Hopefully your bank will participate in one of the government-backed programs. I believe the program is called HAMP (for people going through divorce or illness). My bank did not participate. I had 3/4 equity in our house, but the bank finagled that and got a judge to allow foreclosure. The bankruptcy trustee even offered to pay them from proceeds from another property. Furthermore, they wouldn't work with me at mediation. Now they've got a house which they can not sell. Never trust a bank to do anything logical! Wishing you the best!
Luckily mine did. I tried a refi but there were 2 short sales on my block and my house did not appraise for what it needed to. It took about 30 days for me to be approved.
 

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Refinance, Assumption or short sale. Those are your options in this market right now. There are some great programs on refinance going on if you have a government owned loan through Freddie or Fannie.

I am also underwater, the primary borrower and going to leave the house to STBXH. This whole mortgage thing sucks...has had me stressed out since I left. NO matter what the judgement of divorce says, if you don't get that mortgage out of your name with the bank, your credit will be affected if the payment stops. NO MATTER WHAT THE JOD SAYS. The banks don't care about that stuff. The legal agreement with them is between you and whoever else is on the mortgage, not the divorce court. They are a 3rd party in the divorce case and not bound by anything that is decided on.

I have done months of research on this. IT really sucks in my situation b/c he could just decide "eh, screw this I'm not paying the mortgage anymore" and there goes my credit. I at least am having the lawyer write up a clause every time he is 30+days late I get a nice $$$ amount...that should deter him a little bit from missing payments.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I never got a chance to call the lender today. Refinance is out of the question because I couldn't possibly pay the mortgage since my monthly gross income is less then the monthly mortgage payment.

I'm thinking a short sale is in order but I'm basically clueless about it. Time to hit google.
 

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I never got a chance to call the lender today. Refinance is out of the question because I couldn't possibly pay the mortgage since my monthly gross income is less then the monthly mortgage payment.

I'm thinking a short sale is in order but I'm basically clueless about it. Time to hit google.
Or deed in lieu.
 

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Hold your cards close and never reveal your hand.She left you in the dark long enough , its time for her to be in the dark...now is the time to be a few steps ahead of her now.

Is she still posting her classy friends on facebook....another validation on why you are heading in the direction you are heading?

Geez with such a fragile marriage one would think she would be a little more conservitive...but then again you can't fix stupid!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
She asked me to help her bring a TV from her bedroom into her car when she was leaving. I refused. I told her that she should have one of her "awesome friends" help her.

It's funny. Everyone's a great friend when you're at a bar, a BBQ, or bowling. You find you real friends when you actually need them. She doesn't understand that. Oh well.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Things were ok with the bank yesterday. He basically said I have two options to keep the house.

1) modifying the loan with my wife still on it and seeing about renting the apartment in the house out. This option would be just like we were a happy couple and just wants to modify the loan.

2) remove my wife's name from the loan, but she would still be held responsible for the loan if I don't pay. So her credit is still tied to the loan, but she gives up any kind of profit if the house appraises for a higher value in the future.

What would be the pros/cons of these options? Why would the person leaving the house agree to option two?
 
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