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Back from the abyss, checked wife's phone, saw a bunch of calls to and from and found texts in the trash bin, "friends" om phone got lost on the golf course, some how ended up turned off in the bottom of my golf bag.
Met with attorney and was referred to another, saw that one and got the texts and pictures not good for om and wife and om's wife and several other folks getting a check up from my Dr. Tuesday. Gonna let a guy I know return om's phone to the golf course got everything the attorney needs on a thumb drive and have 1 that I'm keeping. Gonna have a cook out with the om and his wife and several others who are involved. Dropping the legal separation paperwork on the wife at that time. Then sit back and see what happens until court date. Following attorneys advice on financial situation and moving out that night. May even report ethics violations to the State ethics Commission for kicks. Last to know, first to go. Thanks for the advice and support.
Somehow... lol That guy has no idea. He thinks he's got one over on you. He picked the wrong couple to mess with. Your wife is an idiot.
Oh wow. You are not someone to mess with. Please, please video the whole thing and share it with us. Of couse, I know you can't, but this is classic. I do, however, hope that you share with us the rundown of what happens.
I have never seen anything like this. It's going to be epic. The expressions on their faces = priceless.
 

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Discussion Starter · #106 ·
Somehow... lol That guy has no idea. He thinks he's got one over on you. He picked the wrong couple to mess with. Your wife is an idiot.
Oh wow. You are not someone to mess with. Please, please video the whole thing and share it with us. Of couse, I know you can't, but this is classic. I do, however, hope that you share with us the rundown of what happens.
I have never seen anything like this. It's going to be epic. The expressions on their faces = priceless.
I am heartbroken, hurting, confused, and very ANGRY!!
 

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It's easy when you have a connection with a computer genius who you worked with in narcotics for a while.
Okay, so you took the phone to your friend and he went through it? Earlier you said you were going to switch the card, but it looks like that wasn't feasible, so you took it.
 

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I am heartbroken, hurting, confused, and very ANGRY!!
I can imainge this must be terrible. A betrayal on this level is hard to comprehend.
Now you're trying to find a new home and plan all this dramatic takedown while also trying to appear normal to your wife. Who do you have to talk to about this? It's a shock to your system. Is there anything we can do to help?
 

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@RB III, I'm sorry if my reply was insensitive and cavalier. I am amazed by your plan and your ability to deal with this, but realize that this is a horrible situation for you. Marriage betrayal hurts to the core. Add friendship betrayal as well and it's a deeply hurtful situation. I'm glad that you have a plan to take them down at once and blow up their worlds to the light of reality. When is this cookout scheduled for? The longer you wait, the hard it will be to manage your emotions.
 

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You were a cop RB, you have the training ti bury your emotions to get the job done and then to know when to let them out. Look at this as a crime scene and you are doing the work. Afterwards, be sure to get professional assistance. I could not even imagine this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #113 ·
I can imainge this must be terrible. A betrayal on this level is hard to comprehend.
Now you're trying to find a new home and plan all this dramatic takedown while also trying to appear normal to your wife. Who do you have to talk to about this? It's a shock to your system. Is there anything we can do to help?
First I feel like I'm partly to blame, I could have been a better husband, and though I've never cheated or betrayed the badge I am in no way shape or form a Saint. I'm gonna be okay, more worried about my 2 adult daughters. I'm gonna get through this. I have someone I can talk with, vent to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #114 ·
First I feel like I'm partly to blame, I could have been a better husband, and though I've never cheated or betrayed the badge I am in no way shape or form a Saint. I'm gonna be okay, more worried about my 2 adult daughters. I'm gonna get through this. I have someone I can talk with, vent to.
My preacher is a marriage counselor and Retired Marine.
 

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First I feel like I'm partly to blame, I could have been a better husband, and though I've never cheated or betrayed the badge I am in no way shape or form a Saint. I'm gonna be okay, more worried about my 2 adult daughters. I'm gonna get through this. I have someone I can talk with, vent to.
You are not in any way to blame for your wife being a POS. Not at all. That is a reflection on her, not on you, even if it feels that way right now.

One step at a time. One breath at a time. You will get through this and you will be ok. But right now, it’s just focus on your survival and making it through.
 

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First I feel like I'm partly to blame, I could have been a better husband, and though I've never cheated or betrayed the badge I am in no way shape or form a Saint. I'm gonna be okay, more worried about my 2 adult daughters. I'm gonna get through this. I have someone I can talk with, vent to.
What on earth! You are in no way to blame for your wife's choices to have sex with another man, or in this case, multiple men. Her behavior is deplorable. You didn't drive her to this. She did this all on her own. Clearly, she is not looking for a healthy relationship.
Her behavior isn't indicative of marriage problems. People sometimes cheat when they are having marriage problems, but becoming a swinger is a whole different matter. Even when people do cheat due to marriage problems, that is not the answer. The answer is to talk about it and try to work through it. If that doesn't work, divorce is an option as well. Cheating is not the answer to anything.
You will have to help your daughters to work through this. They are going to be shocked when the truth comes out. Don't try to make them hate her or anything like that, but do tell them the unvarnished truth about what she's done.
I'm glad you have someone you trust that you can vent to and get support from.
 

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Back from the abyss, checked wife's phone, saw a bunch of calls to and from and found texts in the trash bin, "friends" om phone got lost on the golf course, some how ended up turned off in the bottom of my golf bag.
Met with attorney and was referred to another, saw that one and got the texts and pictures not good for om and wife and om's wife and several other folks getting a check up from my Dr. Tuesday. Gonna let a guy I know return om's phone to the golf course got everything the attorney needs on a thumb drive and have 1 that I'm keeping. Gonna have a cook out with the om and his wife and several others who are involved. Dropping the legal separation paperwork on the wife at that time. Then sit back and see what happens until court date. Following attorneys advice on financial situation and moving out that night. May even report ethics violations to the State ethics Commission for kicks. Last to know, first to go. Thanks for the advice and support.
Is his wife an innocent party to this? I feel bad for her too.
 

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"friends" om phone got lost on the golf course, some how ended up turned off in the bottom of my golf bag.
This is EPIC!
You're taking care of biz like a champ.
 

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Back from the abyss, checked wife's phone, saw a bunch of calls to and from and found texts in the trash bin, "friends" om phone got lost on the golf course, some how ended up turned off in the bottom of my golf bag.
Met with attorney and was referred to another, saw that one and got the texts and pictures not good for om and wife and om's wife and several other folks getting a check up from my Dr. Tuesday. Gonna let a guy I know return om's phone to the golf course got everything the attorney needs on a thumb drive and have 1 that I'm keeping. Gonna have a cook out with the om and his wife and several others who are involved. Dropping the legal separation paperwork on the wife at that time. Then sit back and see what happens until court date. Following attorneys advice on financial situation and moving out that night. May even report ethics violations to the State ethics Commission for kicks. Last to know, first to go. Thanks for the advice and support.
Ok, youve got your "smoking gun" and can move forward with alacrity and pupose. I know you're eager for legal payback with the emotional vengeance kicker of dropping the bomb at the cookout, but why not get all of your ducks in a row (financial, etc) and have your cw served at work and do a hard 180 (all communication goes through your attorney)? If your state has alienation of affection laws on the books, suit the bastard POS and have him served the same day. If you are able to move out without losing claim to your home, move into your own place when shes being served and ghost her.

Rarely do these high drama payback plans go well. After all of the trauma that has been inflicted on you, I would hate for things to go sideways and add even more destruction to your life. Please at least consider this.

Well done on executing your plan to date. However you do it, I affirm cutting this cancer out of your life for good. As one Betrayed Husband put it, "My marriage developed gangrene at the hands of my cw and I had no choice but to amputate to save the rest of my life." BTW, the guy is remarried and doing extremely well some years later.

Strength, healing and clarity to you sir. Please keep posting.
 
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