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So would you ladies talk to your husband first before getting a visible tattoo?
Would you go get a visible tattoo while your husband is out of town... all of your coworkers and family know and you tell your husband when he gets back?
 

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So would you ladies talk to your husband first before getting a visible tattoo?
Would you go get a visible tattoo while your husband is out of town... all of your coworkers and family know and you tell your husband when he gets back?
I would never do something like that without talking to my husband 1st, I would consider it disrespectful to him. My body is his body - I am his desire, It matters how he views such a thing. That is how I look at marriage anyway.

We talk about all things together - before we go ahead... anything of High cost, relating to the family, things that are permanent -like tattoos... absolutely.
 

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Absolutely!

My husband is highly against tattoos. However, I have had one since the day I turned 18.

I have thought about getting another one, I really like the ones with white ink. I've brought up the idea and my husband supports me even though he hates them. Now that is true love.

Edit to add.... I'd definitely get one where it can easily be hidden.
 

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I do believe in personal bodily integrity, that your body is yours and no one else's (not even your spouse's). But I think keeping such a drastic thing a secret is a symptom of something wrong in your marriage. The fact that you can't decide whether to show your true feelings or sweep them under the rug is another symptom.

How is the communication between you guys in general? Are you always skirting around one another, worrying about their reaction, hoping they 'realise' what you think/feel? Or are you usually up-front and honest, aside from this one circumstance?
 

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I went out of town with a friend down to miami last weekend and got a wrist tattoo without telling him. He's known I've wanted it for a while. He doesn't like tattoos either. But it was therapeutic for me, and it was important for me to get. He didn't say much when he saw it. But he's in the dog house right now.
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Major body modifications should definitely be discussed. I know my BF isn't a fan of them; neither am I. But if I felt like it on a whim, I'd at LEAST text him to see what he thought.

Funny - I see other people's and I admire their convictions - that they felt SO strongly about it they made it permanent on their body, whatever that is.
 

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I wouldn't get a tattoo (I don't have any) without discussing it first with my husband. Same for him. I agree with the previous poster who said major body modifications in either partner should be discussed ahead of time. Sure it's my body and his body is his, but when your partner finds you attractive a certain way, you're stupid to be petulant about it.."Well it's my body and I'm going to do with it what I like and you'll just have to get used to it." Have that kind of attitude for long and you'll be divorced.
 

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OP, shave your head bald and start growing a beard and see how she feels about it. It's a lot less permanent and drastic than a tattoo but I bet she would demand that you stop. I also don't understand people who put tattoos before their marriage.

Personally, I can't stand tattoos. If I met the "perfect" woman for me who matched exactly what I want physically, mentally and emotionally in a woman and she was madly in love with me I would still drop her if she had the smallest tattoo.
 

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My bosy, my tattoos. I dont hide it from him though .. but then again he wants one too.
 

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So my second question is should I tell her how this makes me feel? Part of me wants too but the other half says don't! BTW I DO NOT like it...
I would say yes, you should talk to her about this. Communication is important and if this is bothering you, then she needs to know about it.

For my husband and I, we talk about everything and there are no secrets. If one of us wants to make a big change, anything that costs a lot, involves family or others, or is permanent, then it has to be talked about before any one moves forward with what ever decision that is decided upon. I would be very upset if my husband just came home one day with a tattoo and vice versa.
 

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I don't believe in getting one if your spouse doesn't want you to. Your bodies belong to each other. I always wanted one but H didn't want me to have one so, I didn't. That is, until he cheated and I figured it's now my body only to do what I want. I now have one that no one can see unless I want them to.
 

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I came into this marriage with piercings and tattoos. Just like he came into this marriage a trucker. It's what I am, it's what he is. Take it or leave it... it's always said here discuss BEFORE marriage. Tattoos are no different. I hate to say this (maybe because i am stubborn in this touchy subject) but neither my husband or i are possessions "belonging " to each other. We are people who chose each other regardless of social status (sic tattoos and trucking) . Maybe it is just me but i hate that phrase "we belong to each other ". For me its like being compared to chattle, a thing, a possession.
 

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Not really visible but she got one when I was out of town but didn't show anyone for a while. I couldn't really complain, it's a heart with "Property of Charlie" around it. I few year later I got her initials around my arm, also not usually visible.
 

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I came home from work one day and my ex-wife, then wife, told me she was getting another tattoo. I don't mind them depending on where they are and what they are.

Like someone said, it is her body. I was in a little emotional turmoil. I really didn't want her to get another tattoo. Her daughter and her were getting the same one together. I actually thought that was nice.

I appreciated my ex telling me she was going to get it and the only thing I could really do was to ask her not to get it in a really obvious place and to keep it as small as possible. I really didn't have the right to ask that, since it is her body.

I do believe, as husband and wife, we should respect each other's feelings and talk about it before it is done. I think it shows a great lack of respect when done without mentioning it. I also know that it is her body and in the end, her decision.

Too bad she doesn't respect you more.
 
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