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If I was completely unable or unwilling to have physical intimacy but wanted to stay married I would allow my husband to see prostitutes only, preferably the legal kind in Nevada or a massage parlor type situation. The exchange of money for me lessens any confusion as to what exactly is going on. He would have to agree to protected sex and also to a monthly budget. There would be no extramarital relations outside of that and if I was able to get my drive back I would expect that part of his life to stop.

If she really is completely unwilling perhaps that type of situation would be (somewhat) of a relief.
 

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Low LD, just because that's how I am. It has nothing to do with wanting to hurt someone, just like a HD person isn't trying to hurt their partner when they push for more sex. I've never really thought about sex much, but enjoy it when it happens. Things have been changing a bit recently, but I've no definite idea why.

A low LD refusing sex is usually just them not rating the partners need above the effort it would require for them to have sex. I'll try make an example to explain this thought; person1 loves rock climbing, takes every opportunity to climb a mountain, loves reaching the top. Person2 likes rock climbing, enjoys the feeling of reaching the top, but for whatever reason this doesn't make them an avid rock climber. The effort to get to the top is satisfying but they're not hanging out to do it all the time and there's usually a reason to not put in the effort that day such as feeling tired, stressed, the views are great but the time and effort required just feels like a hassle, so much other stuff going on in their head or maybe they just feel too lazy.

Give person2 another reason to climb the mountain other than they should just want to reach the top more often because it's expected or so that p1 can reach the top, and suddenly they'll see that maybe putting in the effort is worthwhile. Maybe if they help p1 reach the top more often, p1 will give p2 something they are quite interested in, maybe something p1 hasn't been willing to give, so p2 will start to see the effort and reward scales as a bit more weighed towards the reward side. Note if p1 was already giving p2 what they wanted in an effort to get them to climb the mountain, there's no real reason p2 actually needs to climb it. The reward hasn't been put on the scale, it's used up already, woopsies! Ah damn, the scale is weighed more on the effort side still, guess p2 won't be climbing that mountain today.

Don't crucify the messenger. :p
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No offense, but that is just the epitome of inconsiderate. Maybe selfish too.

No doubt a LD partner does other things in life that entail more effort than direct reward. Why is sex with a spouse somehow different?

Also, if providing a (supposedly) loved spouse with bliss is not reward enough for the "massive effort" of sex I question if love actually exists. If one were to equate the effort of having sex with mountain climbing, I would also question what level of sexual dysfunction that person suffer from. They would seem to fall into the mental medical condition category in my eyes.

I am so fortunate that despite my wife's issues, she makes the effort. I really feel for those who are married to people who refuse to. I do all sorts of things for my wife that re crucially important to her that I have zero desire to do. It comes from love and generosity. The payback is the feeling I get from knowing I made her day. Any goodwill that is generated which results in her taking better care of me is simply a bonus.
 

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It could be she is averse to it. That's been my issue, it repulses me due to FOO and childhood things. I still do it, though, 35 years later and he still gets what he wants at least once or twice a week, even though it hurts me mentally to do it. So it could work the other way around, too.
 
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