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Hi everyone,

I’ve been married to my husband for 30+ years. There has been difficulty with communication. Regardless of what I say, he answers in a raised voice. For instance, I had to take my daughter shopping for a dress for a friend’s wedding (she has none). I realized my husband accidentally took my car keys, so I called him and jokingly said if he didn’t want us to go shopping he should have just said so. He was snapped back (practically loud yelling) and slammed the phone on me.

He has worked 24/7 since I’ve known him but has also been in debt since then as well. I am recently unemployed actively seeking work. I know he is anxious/stressed and has been going for therapy with his family doctor for almost a year. There has been no visible progress and my family wishes he would go to a licensed psychotherapist. I can’t bring this up or he will give a defensive response. I feel as though the toxic stress of this emotional abuse is getting to me. What should I do?
 

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Sorry. I can't imagine putting up with that for 30 years. You've taught him it's OK and you'll put up with it.

All I can figure is to tell him you're tired of it and if he doesn't go get help and go into serious counseling with you that you're going to leave. Give him a deadline to make an appointment and leave if he doesn't.

No good answer to this one.
 

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Hi roselace, have you discussed any of this with him?

Does he realize how angry he sounds? How over the top/out of place his anger is?

What a horrid way to live!
 
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