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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A man who is dynamite in bed?

Even if you had other problems, or issues with his temperament (too nice, too jerky, etc) and eventually had to end the relationship, have you ever become sexually uninterested in a man who was a great lover?

For instance, would the much maligned "Mr. Nice Guy", even with some flaws, still be enticing to you if everytime you hit the bedroom he totally, and thoroughly, sexually pleased you?

Or do you lose sexual attraction to even a great lover if his non-sexual flaws are too great?
 

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Hm. I married my best lover, so I don't know. I am still attracted to him. When he left and stood up for himself, I was even MORE attractive. He is the EPITOME of what I think a perfect man looks like. ....and....he can lay the pipe right (his words, not mine) :rofl:

The other guys were kinda "eh" in bed and always made fun of my high drive. Not attractive when a guy says, "You always just want sex!"

Uh. Yea. Got a problem with that? dang. Thankfully, my husband does NOT have a problem with that. :D
 
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I remember, after my husband's and my first time, I looked at him and said, "I don't know what this is, whatever we're doing...hanging out? dating? Whatever....all I know...is that i want more of that, whatever that was. Omg."

:rofl: He still loves that line.
 

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A man who is dynamite in bed?

Even if you had other problems, or issues with his temperament (too nice, too jerky, etc) and eventually had to end the relationship, have you ever become sexually uninterested in a man who was a great lover?

For instance, would the much maligned "Mr. Nice Guy", even with some flaws, still be enticing to you if everytime you hit the bedroom he totally, and thoroughly, sexually pleased you?

Or do you lose sexual attraction to even a great lover if his non-sexual flaws are too great?
I thought my exhusband was really good in bed...at first.Then I became repulsed by him as time went on because of everything that was happening between us.He was NOT a nice guy at all,very assertive and very overbearing.never apologized,etc.I lost sexual attraction for him because his attitude was ugly.It made me completely LD.


My SO worried me at first because he is SUCH a sweet,soft spoken,doormat kind of man...unless someone REALLY pushes him then he'll sort of stand up for himself.I thought I was going to get bored with him in the bedroom but WOW I was TOTALLY WRONG!! LOL he's the best I've ever had and I don't think I'll ever get enough of him...and he's still a nice guy pushover but
I love that part of him and cherish it.He's more naughty and more aggressive in bed now but it's absolutely perfect,he always satisfies me and then some.Being with him has made me a better person,I'm more patient than I used to be.I'm kinder,softer,more laid back,and I want him ALL THE TIME.

Imagine that. And he's a NICE GUY.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I thought my exhusband was really good in bed...at first.Then I became repulsed by him as time went on because of everything that was happening between us.He was NOT a nice guy at all,very assertive and very overbearing.never apologized,etc.I lost sexual attraction for him because his attitude was ugly.It made me completely LD.


My SO worried me at first because he is SUCH a sweet,soft spoken,doormat kind of man...unless someone REALLY pushes him then he'll sort of stand up for himself.I thought I was going to get bored with him in the bedroom but WOW I was TOTALLY WRONG!! LOL he's the best I've ever had and I don't think I'll ever get enough of him...and he's still a nice guy pushover but
I love that part of him and cherish it.He's more naughty and more aggressive in bed now but it's absolutely perfect,he always satisfies me and then some.Being with him has made me a better person,I'm more patient than I used to be.I'm kinder,softer,more laid back,and I want him ALL THE TIME.

Imagine that. And he's a NICE GUY.
I think a post like this might be too much for folks to handle! Why you rocking the board Scarlet?! You're dangerous....
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Non-Sexual flaws trump great sex, IMO.
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Yes, but I'm asking if non-sexual flaws are enough to cause you to become sexually unattracted to a man?

If he's throwing it down in the bedroom, even if his non-sexual flaws are so bad you have to leave, are those flaws enough for you to no longer desire him sexually, or see him as a sexy being?
 

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Yes, but I'm asking if non-sexual flaws are enough to cause you to become sexually unattracted to a man?

If he's throwing it down in the bedroom, even if his non-sexual flaws are so bad you have to leave, are those flaws enough for you to no longer desire him sexually, or see him as a sexy being?
Absolutely.
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Yes, but I'm asking if non-sexual flaws are enough to cause you to become sexually unattracted to a man?

If he's throwing it down in the bedroom, even if his non-sexual flaws are so bad you have to leave, are those flaws enough for you to no longer desire him sexually, or see him as a sexy being?
Absolutely. In order for me to feel sexual toward my husband it has to be more than just the physical act.
 

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Yep, if a guy isn't happening for me emotionally, for whatever reason, thank goodness he becomes completely undesirable sexually, no matter how competent he is. It just turns.right.off. I think this is my one saving grace that keeps me from being in a lot of trouble for long periods of time.
 

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I think you have your answer Jaquen.. it takes ALOT more than the bedroom to keep the woman wanting to come back.

ScarletBegonias said: My SO worried me at first because he is SUCH a sweet,soft spoken,doormat kind of man...unless someone REALLY pushes him then he'll sort of stand up for himself.I thought I was going to get bored with him in the bedroom but WOW I was TOTALLY WRONG!! LOL he's the best I've ever had and I don't think I'll ever get enough of him...and he's still a nice guy pushover but I love that part of him and cherish it.

He's more naughty and more aggressive in bed now but it's absolutely perfect,he always satisfies me and then some.Being with him has made me a better person ,I'm more patient than I used to be.I'm kinder,softer,more laid back,and I want him ALL THE TIME.


Imagine that. And he's a NICE GUY.
Love this reply


Although I have not been on the other side to compare ..... I resonate with her words very much so..in my own marriage. :)
 

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Without going into my history all I could say is that out of my limited reportoire of lovers, I did not choose to marry the one who was dynamite in bed, I chose the "nice guy".
 

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If the non-sexual flaws are things he can't help, possibly not - because he would have had those flaws when I became attracted to him in the first place. However, if he were to start behaving like a jerk or developed unattractive habits, no matter how great he was in bed I'd probably lose attraction to him.
 
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My ex before my husband was totally amazing in bed.... but just because of how emotionally detached from him I was at the end...I preferred to masturbate then to have sex with him.
Have you ever told your husband that to his face?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ano
My ex before my husband was totally amazing in bed.... but just because of how emotionally detached from him I was at the end...I preferred to masturbate then to have sex with him.
Zig posted: Have you ever told your husband that to his face?
Why would she tell her husband that her ex was amazing in bed?:scratchhead:
 

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Quote:


Why would she tell her husband that her ex was amazing in bed?:scratchhead:
Shouldn't he have a right to know that he is a second choice because her ex was a jerk and that she chose him because he (apparently) doesn't put her through the emotional wringer and just deals with the fact that he isn't as good in bed?

If my wife told me that she was only with me because I don't treat her like trash but suck in bed then I would leave her.

What if your husband told you that he's with you because you're not a b***h like his ex and just deals with the fact that you're a lot heavier than her?
 

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Shouldn't he have a right to know that he is a second choice because her ex was a jerk and that she chose him because he (apparently) doesn't put her through the emotional wringer and just deals with the fact that he isn't as good in bed?

If my wife told me that she was only with me because I don't treat her like trash but suck in bed then I would leave her.

What if your husband told you that he's with you because you're not a b***h like his ex and just deals with the fact that you're a lot heavier than her?
I guess we're all different, but I wouldn't want to know what my partner's ex was like in bed, and I know he isn't the slightest bit interested in what mine was like. The fact that we're together is all that matters.

Comparisons can be odious...
 
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