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Do you have a paying job (women only)?

  • Yes, I currently have a job

    Votes: 33 73.3%
  • No, I do not have a job and am supported by my husband

    Votes: 3 6.7%
  • I don't have a job now, but I used to before marriage and/or kids

    Votes: 6 13.3%
  • I don't have a job now, but I will in the future

    Votes: 3 6.7%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm curious how many women here have paying jobs outside the home, because I see an assumption here often that women are all SAHM's. And I see it over and over and over, as though there are hardly any married women who have paying jobs outside the home:

He works all day and then comes home to...
He brings home the paycheck so...
She sits at home all day while he works...
He meets her paycheck needs but she...

I honestly know few women who don't work outside the home, whether they have children or not. I grew up with immigrant parents, old school, old country, yet my mother worked her whole life including in the the old country. Same for my aunts.

Maybe it's because I live in a big city and have always had a paying job, but I am perplexed by this assumption that women are mostly SAHM's and don't have jobs. I am also frustrated at the assumption that men meet women's needs with a paycheck when I know so very many women who 1) have their own paychecks and don't need their husband's paycheck at all, and 2) would laugh to think that their husband's biggest and most important contribution to the marriage is money.

I think that assumption sells both men and women short. I also think it is insulting to all the women who DO have jobs and contribute some, most or all of the funds to run the household - we exist too!

I'd be interested in your thoughts, and your jobs! I work for a global software company, and have spent years in consulting.
 

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I was a SAHM for up until about 6 months ago (for about 4 years).

I had a few WAH jobs but nothing that paid squat.

I did it because daycare would have killed us.

I work now because we both HAVE to.

Also partly because I feel the need for having a job incase he does split so I can try and support myself and the kids.

I do customer service/admin assistant type jobs.
 

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The closest option for me was husband supports. Actually, he is not working, but fighting for disability. I am receiving disability.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I was a SAHM for up until about 6 months ago (for about 4 years).

I had a few WAH jobs but nothing that paid squat.

I did it because daycare would have killed us.

I work now because we both HAVE to.

Also partly because I feel the need for having a job incase he does split so I can try and support myself and the kids.

I do customer service/admin assistant type jobs.
A lot of people in my family have both hubby and wife working because they have to. My parents certainly did.

I would think in today's economic climate that would be very common.
 

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My husband and I both have full time professional jobs outside the home.

My mom, aunties, grandmothers ..all were college educated and worked outside the home so that's the norm for me.
 

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I had a successful career for 20 years then I had kids. My career isn't family friendly and daycare /work related expenses took so much of my pay that the stress wasn't worth it so I quit with my husbands blessing,
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My husband and I both have full time professional jobs outside the home.

My mom, aunties, grandmothers ..all were college educated and worked outside the home so that's the norm for me.
That's pretty cool! I was the first in our family to go to college, so that's very impressive to me that your whole family of women were able to do so.
 

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That's pretty cool! I was the first in our family to go to college, so that's very impressive to me that your whole family of women were able to do so.
It is cool. :)
I think the men in my family have been ahead of the times. One grandmother was put through college by her husband (my grandfather). That was unheard of for that time (the 1940s).
 

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It was tough for me to vote as more than one option on the poll is true for me.

- I currently don't work, though I did in the past before my son.

- I do plan on going back to work. I have tried to find part time work, but - thus far have not found any work where the pay would counteract the daycare costs. Thus - it is most likely I may wait until my son (almost three) is in preschool.
 

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I'm a 'Domestic Engineer' and have been for 6 yrs (end of Feb).

I was in banking 20 years prior to the above

I recently accepted a pt position (a few hours a week) doing the books for a non profit organization I've been volunteering at for the last 2 yrs.
 

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I've always had a job and always been financially independent. Which is a good job as I was able to buy the ex out of the house and divorce him without any real dip in my lifestyle. I can't imagine having to rely on someone else for my security. I know it works for some but it wouldn't for me
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I've always had a job and always been financially independent. Which is a good job as I was able to buy the ex out of the house and divorce him without any real dip in my lifestyle. I can't imagine having to rely on someone else for my security. I know it works for some but it wouldn't for me
That's kinda where I am with it. With unemployment, cheating, divorce, and other misfortunes being so prevalent, the idea of having to rely solely on someone else financially scares the crap out of me.
 

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I've always had a job and always been financially independent. Which is a good job as I was able to buy the ex out of the house and divorce him without any real dip in my lifestyle. I can't imagine having to rely on someone else for my security. I know it works for some but it wouldn't for me
:iagree:

I love my husband and hope never to be divorced from him, but if God forbid I had to, I could survive on my income.
 

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I'm curious how many women here have paying jobs outside the home, because I see an assumption here often that women are all SAHM's. And I see it over and over and over, as though there are hardly any married women who have paying jobs outside the home:

He works all day and then comes home to...
He brings home the paycheck so...
She sits at home all day while he works...
He meets her paycheck needs but she...

I honestly know few women who don't work outside the home, whether they have children or not. I grew up with immigrant parents, old school, old country, yet my mother worked her whole life including in the the old country. Same for my aunts.

Maybe it's because I live in a big city and have always had a paying job, but I am perplexed by this assumption that women are mostly SAHM's and don't have jobs. I am also frustrated at the assumption that men meet women's needs with a paycheck when I know so very many women who 1) have their own paychecks and don't need their husband's paycheck at all, and 2) would laugh to think that their husband's biggest and most important contribution to the marriage is money.

I think that assumption sells both men and women short. I also think it is insulting to all the women who DO have jobs and contribute some, most or all of the funds to run the household - we exist too!

I'd be interested in your thoughts, and your jobs! I work for a global software company, and have spent years in consulting.
Its funny what we happen to see, as I often feel near every women IS working... I am a SAHM but I do have small side jobs that contribute about $200 a month (whoopie!)... and have worked other jobs over the years- always around his schedule...he didn't like it & would complain he wanted more time with me.

When we married, I made more $$ than he did..... but when the 1st baby was ready to pop....I quit - he had excellent health benefits, and we were SAVERS ... had $$ for years in advance- if need be, we've never bought a car on credit... Only on our house & property over all these years.

We didn't have family to babysit & we are both of the belief .. it's best for Mom to stay home... its what I wanted...and it's what he wanted...we've never wavered in this.... he has never complained I am lazy & a slacker, sitting at home eating bon bons (though I do waste too much time on forums...it's my addiction)...

And I am one frugal Mama - he earns it & lets me do all the bills, Cd's, whatever...I manage it.. and we've done amazingly well on his income -which is not College Educated. He did go to Computer school.. didn't get anything out of it though.

In todays society...the way it is headed... I feel more kinship with an Amish Dutch woman ... I can not sit here & say I could support myself if my husband left me....though I believe I would pull up my bootstraps and find a way to overcome any obstacle .... but I'm not worried that is going to happen either...he is that beautiful faithful & loving of a man. He has never let me down in all these yrs..through 6 kids......

I can't control if he dies on me.. but we got that covered....Life Insurance....in such an event. It is only Society's new expectations on Women that make me feel like I don't measure up....but honestly, I wouldn't trade my lot in lofe for any career....Simple as it may be. :)
 
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