[ilmare]

I feel so bad for my H. He is a great guy and I love him so much.
He is one of those guys who kept his virginity for his true and only love- who turned out to be me. The reason why I feel so sorry for him is that we have a serious problem in bed which is I hate to receive oral more than anything... I don't let my husband to touch my V or even to look at it. The truth is that I have an ugly V and even myself haven't gotten used to the appearance of my genital yet and I'm 30years old.
I don't like wearing sexy underwear because it makes me afraid that he might want to touch me...
I'm so sad that we are having this problem and he doesn't deserve a marriage life with sexual issues. I know girls clevages' turn him on so bad but I do not have them.
I'm so unsecured by hot it looks and feels... so I can't even imagine what might go through in his head when he want to play with it. He so know that I'm not comfortable with it so he hasn't even touched it for many years now. We make love without touching genital part. Does men still want it badly no matter how ugly it is?
Also, in occasion times, I had him to go down because he wanted to give me oral so bad. But then after sex, we washed his mouth for 10 minutes and it really bothered me.
He still says that he wants to eat my P**** when we make love and I say no...
Guys, ladies, please give me some advise. Can anyone tell me that I'm normal? Am I having a severe problem that I should force myself to change? What does my H might expect me to feel about my ugly genital?
Thank you for your time!

 

[PBear]

Since you asked for input from guys as well..

It sounds like you have some pretty severe self-image issues, and you should look at getting some outside help to deal with them. Vaginas come in all different styles, but it seems yours doesn't match with what you think is "attractive". As a guy, I can tell you that the most beautiful vagina in the world is the one attached to the partner you love. Every other one is a step down. I would bet money that your husband truly and honestly believes that yours is truly beautiful.

Do what you need to do to get over your self-image problems before it further damages your marital sex life.

C
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[bandit.45]

I agree with PBear. Ithink its all in your head. You sound as if you have a somewhat prudish view of sex.

I find it hard to believe you have an ugly vagina. I think your problem may be self image issues and lack of self esteem.

Having said that, do you take care of your feminine hygene. Do you regularly get gynecological checkups to make sure you don't have yeast or other organic infections? Those can cause bad odor and taste that will drive off any man. That may have been why your husband was washing his mouth out on that occasion.

I doubt highly that your V is any less pretty than any other woman's V. And you have a good husband if he's that crazy about you that he wants to do that for you.
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[PBear]

Oh, and did he wash his mouth out for 10 minutes after because YOU wanted him to, or because he wanted to?

C
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[SimplyAmorous]

I was a wife who was repressed in this area, my husband was always trying to do this, and I could not get past the idea of ..."OMG, how can he stand that....YUCK...I was so embarrassed that I might smell, the whole time my mind was in overdrive -just blocking the pleasure "... I was too conservative minded.... yeah... prudish... and just looked upon this act -like something that happens in porn/ DIRTY written all over it . It just didn't seem natural to me, plus I was highly sensitive there.

I can't say I felt my body was worse than any other females, it was just a matter of not understanding how in God's name a man would want to do this...instead of just trusting if the man wants to go there, HE ENJOYS IT . End of story!! Hard to understand I know... be open to it. Would we do something like that if we didn't love it????

Now I'd likely be if he didn't want to go there... so I've had a total turn around.... all sex is great and this is a beautiful form of pleasure & foreplay. I feel so much of this is solely in "the mind"....our beliefs often screwing with that as I know it did for me.. what a pathetic shame.

Read books on sexuality ...learn how normal this act is...it is called "Cunnilingus"

My suggestion to you ilmare : Take a shower /bath & wash really well there BEFORE engaging in sex...read books on sexuality to overcome these inhibitions in your head...push out these thoughts on how you taste & smell as your husband has already demonstrated he LOVES GOING THERE. This is a JOY for the majority of men, they crave it -sounds crazy I know.. but you are not a man!!

I know in my own marriage, after too many times of pushing his head away -after a little of this...that he slowly started to not go there......but it didn't stop his desire for wanting too. Once I asked him what he loves the most in bed..."eating at the Y" was in his top 2....but he was then thinking of me.... and didn't want to make me feel "uncomfortable".

Have Hope.... such "mindsets" can be overcome.

 

[45188]

I was super embarrassed before he ever did something like that. I think they're sooo ugly. I worry if it smells! Now I just douche with water to make SURE it doesn't smell and I let him go for it. I know it turns him on because he gets.. excited downstairs. Plus I enjoy giving BJs - Figure he feels the same way!

 

[SimplyAmorous]

Kipani said: I know it turns him on because he gets.. excited downstairs. Plus I enjoy giving BJs - Figure he feels the same way!

Yep, that IS the ultimate barometer- if the man gets a STEEL rod downstairs....ha ha

And what is funny... my husband can't understand why I get so HOT for going down on him....But it sure means the world that I do! ..... Revel in it... it doesn't need to make sense, just let the pleasure wash over you

 

[JCD]

It sounds like you have a lot more issues then mere cunnilingus. What exactly do you mean 'no genital touching'?

So you give oral to your husband?

My wife is similar. Unless she is SQUEAKY clean, she doesn't like oral done on her and she is always self conscious about it. But she loves to GIVE oral. Go figure.

Part of the reason guys do this act (not all of us love it any more than every woman LOVES to give bjs) is that we worry about stamina and finishing our partners. Our tongues last longer than our pricks. So you are actually denying your husband the assurance that he's satisfying you in bed...which will lead to more problems down the road.

So figure out your self image problems and your problems with sexual repression. If you REALLY DON'T LIKE IT...try some toys. The Rabbit Vibrator doesn't care how 'ugly' you are down there. Get over the touching.

 

[MrVanilla]

Does men still want it badly no matter how ugly it is?

My W says that she never met a man that didn't go down on her, or want to go down on her, until she met me.

So from what I'm familiar with, and using benefit-of-doubt conservative estimates from her experiences only... that translates into about a 30 to 1 ratio. (1 in 30 men don't want to) In all fairness, I should add that my viewpoint doesn't consider just her V... I've never found any genitalia to be attractive.

So, maybe it's true what 'they' say:
beauty must indeed be subjective. =)

 

[MrsOldNews]

I've only dated one man in my life who said he wasn't into giving oral. Broke up with that guy in the blink of an eye.

I could NEVER be with a man who didn't enjoy giving oral. I know all my friends except the one with the prudish husband would agree too

To the op: honey I don't know how good sex can be for you without foreplay or oral but I can tell you one thing oral and foreplay makes any sexual experience soooooooooo much better

 

[mrcow]

OP - I can't really imagine what would be an "ugly vagina". one thing that comes into my mind - women with low self esteem (and yours may be close to absolute zero in that department) are often self-conscious (? if that's the word), say, about the fact that their labia minora is bigger than l. majora. if that's the case - you're perfect as you are. what else - more prominent pigmentation, some asymmetry, and all of this is perfectly fine.

well, if yours is horizontal, then that would be .. interesting, but still hard to qualify as ugly .

 

[Caribbean Man]

The truth is that I have an ugly V and even myself haven't gotten used to the appearance of my genital yet and I'm 30years old.

^^^
The truth is that this is a LIE!

In all my years of talking with men about women and sex,
I have NEVER heard a man describe a woman's genitals as ugly.

Only women describe their own genitals as " ugly."

I have been with quite a few women and I have never seen an
" ugly V."

Your husband loves your " V". He is probably a little shy,so that he doesn't know how to say it.
But if he wants to go down on you,
He loves it!

 

[ScarletBegonias]

I feel so bad for my H. He is a great guy and I love him so much.
He is one of those guys who kept his virginity for his true and only love- who turned out to be me. The reason why I feel so sorry for him is that we have a serious problem in bed which is I hate to receive oral more than anything... I don't let my husband to touch my V or even to look at it. The truth is that I have an ugly V and even myself haven't gotten used to the appearance of my genital yet and I'm 30years old.
I don't like wearing sexy underwear because it makes me afraid that he might want to touch me...
I'm so sad that we are having this problem and he doesn't deserve a marriage life with sexual issues. I know girls clevages' turn him on so bad but I do not have them.
I'm so unsecured by hot it looks and feels... so I can't even imagine what might go through in his head when he want to play with it. He so know that I'm not comfortable with it so he hasn't even touched it for many years now. We make love without touching genital part. Does men still want it badly no matter how ugly it is?
Also, in occasion times, I had him to go down because he wanted to give me oral so bad. But then after sex, we washed his mouth for 10 minutes and it really bothered me.
He still says that he wants to eat my P**** when we make love and I say no...
Guys, ladies, please give me some advise. Can anyone tell me that I'm normal? Am I having a severe problem that I should force myself to change? What does my H might expect me to feel about my ugly genital?
Thank you for your time!

oh my goodness this is so sad I can't understand why you'd think you have an ugly vagina...did someone put this idea into your head??
Honey if he wants to go down on you so badly and touch you so badly,it's because HE LIKES IT!

oral is the most amazing thing ever when you can relax and trust the person you're with.

I think you need therapy to help you feel better about your vagina.I know lots of women think their stuff is ugly or stinky but MOST men will tell them that they're wrong!

Did he want to wash his mouth out for 10 mins or did you make him?

 

[needyForHelp]

The truth is that I have an ugly V

I don't understand it, IS THERE EVEN A CONCEPT OF AN UGLY "V". At least I have never seen one. If its a "V" its beautiful (FULL STOP)

And I can tell you only based on my own feelings, my wife also has same kind of issue, she doesn't like oral (receiving or giving) but I love to give oral, more than anything. But she says it feels dirty and it tickles her, and is completely a turn off even if I bring my face near to it, or even if I touch it unless she is TOTALLY seduced. And believe me you, its actually killing me inside.

To me it feels like my wife doesn't love me and is living with me because we are married and we does occasional only missionary style sex, just because she thinks its her "duty" to give me sex at least sometimes.

So if the only reason you are not letting your husband to give you oral is, that you are not comfortable with the look of your "V" then my suggestion would be, stop thinking like it, HE DEFINITELY LOVES THE WAY YOUR "V" LOOKS OR SMELLS OR TASTES ....... so just close your eyes lie back and enjoy the feeling and let him enjoy it too, believe me it will improve the emotional attachment between you two.

And I know even if you have never gotten one, whence you start getting oral, you'll do anything to get it (Personal experience).

 

[kingsfan]

My fiancee is just like you. I've only rarely been down there on her, and only twice while she was sober, both times early in the relationship. Other than that, the only time I'm allowed down there is when she's had a few drinks, and that happens pretty rarely now. In fact, I'd estimate it's been about 2 1/2 years since I was down there to give her some oral.

She also doesn't like me touching her down there either, for fear it's 'gross.' And no matter how much I tell her it isn't, that doesn't change things.

While I don't let it bother me a lot -I try to take the mindset that it is her body and she can feel how she wants to about that area- I do admit it does bother me from time to time. I do enjoy occassionally going down on her, because I enjoy pleasing her. We had a debate on whether oral sex is dominate or submissive before on these boards, and I was of the opinion that the one doing the giving was the dominate. There's something empowering about giving your partner an orgasm orally, and something empowering as well when you are in full control of their body and pleasure. It gives me a huge level of accomplishment when I give my partner an orgasm through oral, like I've completed a mission or something.

It frustrates me that I have never given my current partner an orgasm orally, but that's her choice, not mine. She also thinks things look ugly down there, as she's had multiple surgeries at the lower part of her belly, just over the pubic area and has left a bit of scarring. Thing is, it doesn't look ugly to me in the least, but try and convince her of that.

If your husband is insisting on going down on you, then he must enjoy it. Why would he want to change your mind about letting him do something if he didn't want to do it? If he didn't want to do it, he'd be encouraging you to not let him down there, not vice versa. Chill out, relax and enjoy the (moustache) ride.

 

[underwater2010]

I love it....even if it tickles for a bit. Please get over your hang up about how it looks. If you were to ever watch porn you would realize that every woman looks different down there. As for washing his mouth out, I agree with everyone else...was that his doing or yours? My husband had me do a bj after he had already penetrated me and guess what....it did not taste bad at all. Maybe take sometime on your own and masturbate then taste it yourself. You might be surprised.

 

[underwater2010]

Also, make sure you shower and wash really good (inside the folds). There will be no smell at all. Also there are plenty of lubes out there that are made for oral sex. It changes the taste. In fact KY makes some. I believe it is chocolate for the bj and strawberry for the licking.

 

[norajane]

I think you are hurting your husband by denying him access to your V. He is probably very sad to be near you and making love to you without being able to properly touch you and lick you.

I don't know what will help you to relax and enjoy his attentions to your V. But I do think you need to change your thinking on your body so you can let your husband love on you the way he wants to!

There is nothing unnatural or ugly about V's to a man. You know your hubby is attracted to your V or he wouldn't want to get near it. You just need to accept his attention! Don't take that away from him!

 

[arbitrator]

There is nothing that a man loves more than giving the gift of oral to his wife and having it reciprocated by her. Not for the sheer act itself, but for who the loving person is that they are giving it to and receiving it from.

Doing this in the context of a committed, loving relationship makes it absolutely one of the best gifts that you could ever bestow upon her and upon yourself!

 

[ScarletBegonias]

there are men out there who actually enjoy the taste and scent of vagina some complain if it smells like soap...