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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I gave my wife oral tonight and later she told me, she was close to having an orgasm but tonight it wasn't her night.

Are there any toys or anything that I could buy to help give my wife an orgasm everytime?

Or is that not realistic?:(
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Is there a vibrator that would work everytime?
 

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I'm not sure that there is any guaranteed method.

I don't orgasm from oral every time, and in fact am not sure I've ever had a full blown (if you'll pardon the pun) orgasm from oral alone; it usually requires some penetration from the fingers as well.

I think it is very easy to get too hung up on orgasms, actually. By which I mean it can actually be counter productive to try too hard. You need to read the body language and gauge how she is reacting and go from there. It isn't always going to happen, however good you are. But it should always end up being very pleasurable, whether or not the earth moves.

My husband, when we had a sex life, was very dutiful about making sure I came before him. Unfortunately that sense of duty rather backfired, and in the end it became all too easy to fake just so he'd stop with his fumblings and finish.
 

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Yes. Initially when we started it was not always so its important that she guides you through and achieves it and you learn the trick that works for her, every woman is different.
 

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I used to not orgasm all the time. Never have faked an orgasm, I was just completely honest with my husband about it. Sounds like your wife is on the right track there. Was it JUST oral, or did you do anything else to try to get her off as well?

You asked about toys... is she even OPEN to toys? I know that bullets work for clit stimulation, but you need to be sure what speed works best for her... Some like the faster speeds, some prefer slower.

But the main thing is do NOT get so hung up on the orgasm that you lose sight of everything else.
 

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and no matter how good you are, just like men lose erections, we can get so close and then its gone and its like starting from the beginning again. Its just not our night. We lose focus. its okay.

sometimes getting licked the same way too longs makes me numb. i like the hit and run method, lol. lick some, stop, slow down, shift, then lick it some more.
 

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My SO often needs/wants stimulation from fingers as well as oral. I think she's only had a strictly oral orgasm about 3 times in the last 2 years. Oddly enough, that's about as often as she's had a strictly vaginal orgasm as well... The girl just needs extra stimulation! :)

So what have I learned from her... First off, I learned to find and use her g-spot and "a-spot" while giving her oral. Both of them have their purpose, and they result in different orgasms. Second, with regards to toys... When giving her oral, I use a penetrative toy on her. A dildo, or a pair of Ben-wa balls with my fingers. Third, foreplay can play a big role, even before I touch her pvssy.

Some things to think about, I guess... My lady can take a long time to orgasm, but when she does, it's always worth it. But putting pressure on her to make it happen doesn't help. In fact, it usually has the opposite effect. Sometimes it's best to let it go and come back to it.

C
 

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I used to not orgasm all the time. Never have faked an orgasm, I was just completely honest with my husband about it. Sounds like your wife is on the right track there. Was it JUST oral, or did you do anything else to try to get her off as well?

You asked about toys... is she even OPEN to toys? I know that bullets work for clit stimulation, but you need to be sure what speed works best for her... Some like the faster speeds, some prefer slower.

But the main thing is do NOT get so hung up on the orgasm that you lose sight of everything else.
+1

I agree, it seems like when my husband focuses on giving me an orgasm, I feel 'pressured to perform' and that shuts me off. I need to be relaxed at all times to orgasm.

Also, I agree about not lying about orgasm. I would rather not have one that lie about it.
 

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another here agreeing that the pressure to cum is a guaranteed way to shut.it.all.the.way.down, lo. Women have performance issues too. The best way to handle this for a lot of us is to be okay when we say, baby, its not gonna happen for me tonight, dont worry about it. Ask her is there anything you can do to help her get it back. If she says no dont get your feelings hurt. She may be sore, dry, or tired and its not worth it to her to try and overcome those things. Then continue to make love to her passionately until you come. Ask her if she wants to cum, sometimes when i lose it, it comes back when my husband cums inside me. Its like an aphrodisiac. If thats the case, ill open my legs and he ill know what i want. If not, we spoon until we both fall asleep
 

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Hitachi Magic Wand....you will thank me.
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Hitachi Magic Wand....you will thank me.
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IF she is open to toys... and more specifically, to larger toys. I've seen (mostly) men sing the praises of the Hitachi Magic Wand... honestly? Larger toys don't appeal to everyone, including me. CB's wife may be different, I realize. But he should be sure she is even open to these things before he just goes out and buys one.
 

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I am sure with it he can figure a way.
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IF she is open to toys... and more specifically, to larger toys. I've seen (mostly) men sing the praises of the Hitachi Magic Wand... honestly? Larger toys don't appeal to everyone, including me. CB's wife may be different, I realize. But he should be sure she is even open to these things before he just goes out and buys one.
Maricha its not what you think.
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Maricha its not what you think.
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Sigh... It IS what I think. I have seen the toy. I have seen the attachments. What I am saying is that not everyone LIKES having something like that when in the middle of it. Which is why I suggested that he ASK his wife first.

I'd be cool with a bullet or something else that is really small. But something larger, whether inserted (dildo/vibe) or not (hitachi), is not for everyone.
 

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Even the Magic Wand is not foolproof. It's the best piece of kit I have ever purchased but even so if I'm not in quite the right frame of mind or feel rushed, it ain't gonna happen.

And I don't think a Magic Wand is terribly compatible with oral.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thx "everyone" for the tips.

I asked my wifee a short while ago if she'd be open to a toy. She didn't freak out or say no this time. Since she is a shy woman, I would lean towards the bullet. It's small, discrete, and would be a great assistant for her. I love to give her oral and sometimes she orgasms and sometimes she doesn't. Makes me feel like I'm doing something completely wrong and I don't like that. In my mind, if she get me to orgasm everytime, I should be able to get her to orgasm everytime.

Oh, and while I was giving her oral last night, she did something different and unexpected. For the first time, she used her feet to masturbate me while I was giving her oral. Later in the evening, while we were cuddling on the couch and watching Russel Peter's, I told her when she used her feet on me, it was hot and great. That's a change for her.

On a non sexual note, she took the initiative and bought couch covers and a front door mat. I was surprised and told her, these look fantastic and good job. More!!! This is another change. :)
 

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Good job on giving her positive feedback for things you enjoyed!

You could also try moving to a position where she can get her hands on you while you're giving her oral. Either lying beside her (instead of between her legs) or kneeling beside her (like you would for a 69, but not on top of her).

As far as the bullet vibe goes, one of my SO's favorite toys is the WeVibe Tango. It's small, waterproof, rechargeable, and packs a lot of punch (but has multiple settings, so you don't need the most powerful all the time). It looks like a lipstick tube, to be honest. And it's small enough that I can give her oral while I use it on her, or she can use it on herself when I'm inside her. It's by far our most used toy, I think.

You can also look into getting her to squirt, but I'm not sure she'd be ready for that. I used this video when I was learning "how-to":
Master degree of squirting !!! - Free Porn Videos - YouPorn

As I mentioned (I think), my SO can sometimes have difficulty orgasming. Like last night, for example... We had been going at it for quite awhile for our second round of the day (started with a massage for her, ended up with an erection I needed to do something with), and while she said she was really close a few times, she just wasn't "hitting a peak". So I asked her if she wanted to squirt, as I knew that by using the techniques in that video, I could get her to orgasm quickly. She said that she was ok either way, so of course I grabbed our trusty waterproof blanket and got her on it, and got to work. It took literally 5 seconds to have her splashing all over both of us (twice, actually), and this was after her using her favorite toy and my own orgasm failed to get her to orgasm.

Anyway, something to think about. You could also read "She Comes First"; I've heard good things about that book. It might give you some things to try.

C
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Which silver bullet would you buy?

There are so many...........prices ranging from $5 to $15.

Great web site on squirting.......a definite bookmark.:smthumbup:
 

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Which silver bullet would you buy?

There are so many...........prices ranging from $5 to $15.

Great web site on squirting.......a definite bookmark.:smthumbup:
Oh so many to choose from!
Honestly? I have gotten a few from tootimid.com

I have also ordered through Pure Romance. Why not look through sites together and see what catches her eye? ;)
 
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