I don't engage with her behavior at all, even though there are many things that would justify my anger. Can't win with a covert narc, so I don't play her game. She's going to keep trying. Not logical people exactly. Every time there is something, she wants my emotional response. Doesn't make it easy to deal with. The fact that everyone else has a general idea about her and still walks on eggshells to make her happy is annoying and intolerable to me to say the least. And my husband's lack of enthusiasm or support for me, his wife, is most unbearable of all.You said she does "subtle" things. Do not engage.