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Is kissing considered as cheating? I am having a hard time getting past the fact that my husband kissed another woman. He had a little too much to drink and his drinking is also a problem for us. I know a lot of people dont consider it, but am I wrong to feel so betrayed?
 

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Is kissing considered as cheating? I am having a hard time getting past the fact that my husband kissed another woman. He had a little too much to drink and his drinking is also a problem for us. I know a lot of people dont consider it, but am I wrong to feel so betrayed?
When you got married, did you tell him it's OK for him to kiss other woman?

What you feel is what you feel, right?

Do you really need to ask this question? I think you already know the answer to it.

Try the book, "How to help your spouse heal from your affair." Even though you did not cheat, it will help you identify why you feel so hurt and be able to express to your husband what you would like to see him do to help you recover.

I'm sorry you're here.
 

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If it's OK with you that your husband kisses other women then it isn't cheating. He also needs to be OK with you kissing other guys then.

If that's not OK for both of you then YES, it is cheating.

You do know that "I kissed her" is often cheatspeak for "We had sex" right?
 

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Ask him if it's ok for you to drink a little too much and kiss another man. Any man than it ok with it is either telling a lie or has no idea about boundaries in a relationship. He's your husband for goodness sake!
 

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If your husband is doing such things while drinking, then he also has a problem with alcohol. Do not let him try to slide this past you with the "I was drunk" excuse. It doesn't work for drunk drivers, and it shouldn't work for anyone else who uses alcohol as an excuse for their sh!tty behaviour.

And Hope is right; you may be getting only the trickle truth, so unless you saw this kiss firsthand, start investigating.
 

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i was drunk...that has to be THE WORST copout bullsh*t excuse.
when does one draw the line??

i kissed someone...i was drunk
i screwed someone...i was drunk
i had an orgy...i was drunk

i have been fall down,word slurring drunk more than once and I can tell you that while people do stupid things, they STILL have the ability to determine right from wrong.

kissing another woman is cheating.he needs to get to AA and learn some self control.
 

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I'm sorry, but kissing is an act of physical contact and thus is demonstrative of an already full-blown emotional affair(EA) that is fastly ascending to a physical affair(PA). In any event, any physical or non-physical act, whether done with or without the other spouses implied permission, equates to nothing more than an overt act of cowardice and is most certainly emblematic of "cheating!"
 

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I just can't believe he did that. We both know he has a problem with alcohol but he doesn't want to get help..
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Is kissing considered as cheating?
Yes. And in no way related to kissing on a date where it's an innocent thing and you are not sure if you even like the girl but you are trying to be polite. This signifies something very deep and problematic. Not necessarily deep in terms of feelings for OW, but deep in terms of the problem. Sorry.
 

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he doesn't want to get help..
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Do you want to be with someone like this? Are you willing to accept that this will keep happening?

You can't change him, you can only change you. One thing you can do is make it clear to him that you do not wish to be with someone, anyone, who has this problem and refuses to get help for it. So, since he is such a person, you no longer wish to be with him. Period. End of discussion.

If he chooses to go into recovery and get help, THEN you can consider staying. But only CONSIDER it. If after a period of time (which YOU determine) you feel he's doing well, then maybe you'll want to stay. But maybe not.

This is YOUR thing, not his. YOU call the shots.
 

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I asked him the night after he went out because we had a big blow up and I told him I wanted a divorce.. We also just lost our daughter so a lot has been going on. Well when I asked him he told me that he had a girl but him a few drinks and they flirted and nothing happened. I knew he was lying. So we went to marriage counseling Monday and that night when we got home he said I pecked her.on the lips three times. I don't know her name or number. It was in the.backseat of my friends car then when I got back to my car I left. It didn't.go any further.because of how bad and.guilty I felt.

He his it from me for two whole weeks. Because.he said he was afraid I would leave him. But as I look.back on it when he called me the.next day he was.doc horny and kept going I'm about how he missed me and wanted me. And how he wanted to have sex.with me.
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Do you want to be with someone like this? Are you willing to accept that this will keep happening?

You can't change him, you can only change you. One thing you can do is make it clear to him that you do not wish to be with someone, anyone, who has this problem and refuses to get help for it. So, since he is such a person, you no longer wish to be with him. Period. End of discussion.

If he chooses to go into recovery and get help, THEN you can consider staying. But only CONSIDER it. If after a period of time (which YOU determine) you feel he's doing well, then maybe you'll want to stay. But maybe not.

This is YOUR thing, not his. YOU call the shots.
to otherwise than this is essentially enabling/co-dependency
 

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Of course it is. Now all cheating is not created equally. For example a EA/PA that goes on for years is worse than a fling. An affair with your sibling would be worse than stranger. It's still a betrayal and he should not be allowed to minimize what happened. All cheaters try to minimize.
 
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