My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".
Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.
This of course is breaking my daughters heart but all I can do is be there for her. I have not called her mom up to try to nail things down for sure. I am not sure I will do anything at this point as far as her mother is concerned.
This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.
I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.
Its literately one day away from the day I caught her. I think she has a timer built in. lol
I feel really bad for my kids but if she moves I think its the best for them to be away from her. There mother is really reinforced in my mind cheaters should never raise children. I am thankful I have my kids but I do feel sorry for the other children. Its going to be horrible on them being ripped away from there dad. What a sad day for them.
Its literately one day away from the day I caught her. I think she has a timer built in. lol
I feel really bad for my kids but if she moves I think its the best for them to be away from her. There mother is really reinforced in my mind cheaters should never raise children.
I am thankful I have my kids but I do feel sorry for the other children. Its going to be horrible on them being ripped away from there dad. What a sad day for them.
Ele,
I am sure in some cases you are right but they are incredibly rare. I mean at least in my life I have not seen many that it was a one time deal. Now maybe I have a magical way of finding the worst of them but it is what it is and all I can do now is protect my kids.
After I divorced with the xW she had three more kids with him. We had two together when we were married. I kept custody of them.
Forget about all of it and don't bother rubbing it in this guys face, he got what he deserved and your X will one day wake up and realize what a worthless pile she is.
I think you should invite him out for a consolation beer or two. Seeing as you have both been taken by the same BS, you two actually have something in common.
THAT would truly screw with your Ex's head and maybe heal a little for you.
I'm kidding of course.
Send him a "Sorry you got your heart pureed by my cheating ***** ex-wife. But...really...did you expect anything different from her?"
or..."Sorry your magic penis didnt instantly cure her of her wandering ways. Better luck next time."
I would send a email telling the OM to fight for his kids.....making a statement that this is not the kind of women you would want around your kids. Then finish off with next time around stick with finding a women that isn't already married.
You might want to attach your old divorce lawyers info.
Now wouldn't that be interesting if you got a reply asking you what you were talking about?
I probably won't go up and do anything. Currently she is still living with the OM. I am not sure how long before she moves out. My daughter and the OM talked last night about the other kids. He does not want to keep them. He explained to my daughter he felt he would get to violent with them.
That part kind of freaks me out but what can I say now. As of this point in time I will probably just keep the kids away from them unless its to say good bye.
So the OM doesn't want his three girls and your ex is going to take them out of state to a new OM....sad real sad!
Looks like enough generation of strippers is just around the corner.
I guess if it weren't for phucked up parents like your ex and current OM....stripping would be a dead profession.
You gotta be dam glad you got your two kids with you....couldn't imagine the life all these kids will have with a mother that runs around from guy to guy!
There is no way I was ever going to let her keep the kids. She knew this. I kept my other two girls from a previous relationship I was in before here. She knew I would have sold everything to fight for my kids.
They never even questioned it when we went to court. The only thing she cared about was the money and if I would pay trip expenses if either of us moved out of town. In the end she got nothing. The money was already gone. I had to pay all the bills she did not and I was able to show to the court the bills and the bank statements. The cost of the trips is split 50/50.
She walked away with nothing. On top of that I threw most of her stuff in the trash. I gave her and her family a certian amount of time to come get it and they failed. I put what I quickly could find in a storage facility and rented it for two months. I send her the key to the lock along with the location information about the stuff. She was told if she did not pick it up before two months it would be gone. Well guess what. Its gone.
My life has been so much better and Christmas for me is turning out to be great.
Get your daughters (from you and xww) into counselling as soon as possible! I imagine they're feeling abandoned and can't help but think that they weren't good enough for her (to stay). They MUST get professional help or otherwise this will scar them for life. Please, please, get them to a family therapist.
When my divorce was final I already had my kids into counceling. My daughter is back in counceling now and I have already contacted her counceler this morning to have her talk to my daughter about the recent events.
I would suggest that if the cheater is never caught and the affair is more of a cake eating affair than an exit affair, they will continue to cheat until caught, either a long term affair or with multiple APs... once caught, its really a crap shoot whether they will continue to cheat or go straight...assuming that the marriage is not ended by the BS.
I asked my MC about this one session. She has been Counseling Married Couples for 30+ years and has seen infidelity in literally a 1000 of cases. #1 reason for MC in her practice. In her experience, the vast majority have children at stake. No children couples, rarely stay in MC more than a few times. No surprises here.
In short, when undiscovered the "One and Done" is the exception. Furthermore, "Confession" even when confronted is extremely rare. Her words... the "High" of the affair is addictive just like drugs, in reality there are chemicals involved. Since no consequences for the 1st affair are dealt, the next is that much easier to justify. Her opinion, "most Serial Cheaters" eventually get caught.
BTW, even when caught red-handed, cheaters lie and minimize to her too in Counseling, where strict rules concerning Truth are mandated.
This made me think, my sister (very much introvert btw) had an affair with a married man, she said she was too shy to say "no".. A short affair bad experience overall, no love just physical.
Fast forward 7 years in the future she has 2 kids with her H and recently found messaging on his phone that suggests he had an EA or even PA with his ex co-worker..
I was furious with her Husband because this hurt my sister very much but never thought of this as the karma buss till now. She cheated with a married man in the past.
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