Just Wondering

This is more of a mental question than a sexual one. I 'am HD Male. Wife is LD forever. Lately I have discovered if I tend to ignore her pay very little attention to her our sex life becomes better but only for one session.Most the time for 30 yrs. I have been all over her.Deeply in love.But if I remove the love from her she becomes closer to me.Its hard because its not me.I don't like to play games . But it works.If I stop holding her,Kissing her, Cuddleing her for a week she start to come on to me.
Really its very simple.Leave her alone and I get what I want. If I smother her with affection and love she pulls away? Bad thing is I want both.No games Just want a well balanced marriage.Somrtimes it takes 10 days for her to notice the lack of affection she is getting. and I start to see her slowly looking for some.But the minute she feels we are OK she is gone again. seems like she only wants a man in her life when she feels she is losing one/