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Clean your side. Anger management classes, abusive men related literature. You don't need to beat them to be still abusive.
Soul searching, find why you are this way, re learn, train yourself to be the best man you can. It will pay regardless the outcome of the marriage. Relationships are contingent, usssually end for many reasons. You will have yourself forever tough.

Then ask her to assist you in your pain.
 
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