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Discussion Starter #1
Hi all, so I have recently been told by my husband himself that he cheated while abroad for work. This was very unexpected and heartbreaking. He was abroad in July this year..we have been married for 4 years with 2 beautiful little kids. He told me in Aug, we have since been going to a counsellor which is helping BUT it still bothers me and hurts me... he went out drinking, a colleague suggested going to a strip joint and he hooked up with a stripper. I want to save our marriage and i still feel hurt constantly..maybe even depressed...and why do we always feel that us, the faithful spouses, are not good enough...my baby was 3 months old..i am still not back to my weight before the pregnancy..so i feel like **** about my body and am very insecure in general..he just says the reason is because we have been having issues, i depreived him of my body, we didnt communicate anymore, but the biggest is me depreiving him to love my body like he wants to... guess i just need to talk still....i constqntly talk to him...since therapy we communicate better and make time for us alone..its been going really well..just still really hurt
 

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Blame the victim, blame the Betrayed Spouse, BS.

This is 'cheater speak' at its finest, uh, at its lowest ebb.

He is showing no remorse.

For healing and reconciliation to occur, remorse should be evident, no, dominant.

I see none.




King Brian-
 

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Discussion Starter #3
He is showing remorse. He is more involved with our kids and gives me more affection...(these are the issues i had from my side before it all) he does apaologise perfusely. I am okay now with it all..i really want to move fwd with him..but just sad..especially at night.i get very anxious. Thanks for tge reply
 

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First all set an std panel done asap...second of all I call bs to his excuses and so should you....for the time being put him on the couch. You need to meet with a lawyer and understand your position...and I would tell him right now your marriage is in limbo until you see him do all the heavy lifting.
 

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He is showing remorse. He is more involved with our kids and gives me more affection...(these are the issues i had from my side before it all) he does apaologise perfusely. I am okay now with it all..i really want to move fwd with him..but just sad..especially at night.i get very anxious. Thanks for tge reply
What loving person would not be anxious?

How did you find out about the stripper?
Who told what?

Did he confess, or did someone else out him, or it was going to be exposed anyway.

What are the facts?

Is this past behavior of his, a 'one off', or is it possibly signs of serial cheating?
As in opportunity cheating.

He will cheat if offered, if he thinks he can get 'away' with it?

It could be either.

What think you?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
He confessed out of guilt..there would be no way for me to have found out ever as this happened in another country.. was the first time..he is a very honest man. I actually think that it was a night out with other men and someone suggested the strip joint and he went with.i dont appreciate men going to places like that at all.just once again it all highlights my body issues..because strippers are toned etc etc
 
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