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10 Posts
I really, really need some support and advice right now. I feel like my marriage is almost perfect. We get along so well, he seems to completely adore me and we hardly ever fight. We’ve been together a long time, we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, and I feel like we are happier now than ever before. In the past, we have fought about sex a lot. I wanted it all the time and he didn’t seem to. That has totally changed too and we are together many times throughout the week.
Well, I found a porn DVD yesterday in our desk. I confronted him and he said that it wasn’t his. He said that neighbor must have hidden it here when he was “babysitting” our dog. I honestly believed him because things are so great between us. I couldn’t understand why he’d be hiding porn when our sex life is so great. But then tonight I found on the computer that he’d looked at porn on March 4. I woke him up and confronted him with it. He admitted that he had and that the DVD was his also.
He said that he got it when I went to Florida last month and only used it because he was missing me. Then he said that he got it because whenever we have sex it is all about me and he didn’t think that was fair. Then he said he didn’t mean that and he was just looking for an excuse. Then he admitted that he had actually bought it the very first time our daughter and I had gone to Florida (May 2007!!!!!!) and had watched it many times since then. He said it started because he was missing me but then sometimes he would even watch it in the mornings when I was in our bedroom still asleep!
I was crying like crazy through all of this. He was pretty emotionless though. He did keep saying he was sorry and that he loved me so much and loved my body. But he didn’t really say any of it with any real emotion. I don’t understand that. I don’t know if it is just because it was the middle of the night and he was processing that I’d found out. But it feels like it is because he doesn’t really care about me or our marriage. He tried to sleep alittle and when he woke up for work alittle bit ago he looked awful. He cried a little then and kept telling me how much he loved me. I just don’t know.
I don’t know where to go from here. I’m a mess! I hate that he’s had it hidden away all these years. I hate that he sorta said it was my fault, even though he took it back. I hate that I’ve been thinking everything was amazing with us. I feel like I would literally do anything he wanted sexually so I don’t see how he can feel like it is just for me. It’s hard. I feel like our marriage is a lie. And I feel like everything he’s ever said to me is a lie. I’m hurting so much right now. I want him to make it better but I don’t even know how he can.
Plus, sex has always been such a huge part of our marriage. I love it and can’t imagine going very long without it. But I can’t even being naked with him right now, let alone making love with him. But if that is going to be a major issue then we’re going to have problems. But how can I trust him? How can I put all of this out of my mind? How can I not feel like he’s comparing me to the porn every time we’re together? This really hurts!
Bye,
Lisa
Well, I found a porn DVD yesterday in our desk. I confronted him and he said that it wasn’t his. He said that neighbor must have hidden it here when he was “babysitting” our dog. I honestly believed him because things are so great between us. I couldn’t understand why he’d be hiding porn when our sex life is so great. But then tonight I found on the computer that he’d looked at porn on March 4. I woke him up and confronted him with it. He admitted that he had and that the DVD was his also.
He said that he got it when I went to Florida last month and only used it because he was missing me. Then he said that he got it because whenever we have sex it is all about me and he didn’t think that was fair. Then he said he didn’t mean that and he was just looking for an excuse. Then he admitted that he had actually bought it the very first time our daughter and I had gone to Florida (May 2007!!!!!!) and had watched it many times since then. He said it started because he was missing me but then sometimes he would even watch it in the mornings when I was in our bedroom still asleep!
I was crying like crazy through all of this. He was pretty emotionless though. He did keep saying he was sorry and that he loved me so much and loved my body. But he didn’t really say any of it with any real emotion. I don’t understand that. I don’t know if it is just because it was the middle of the night and he was processing that I’d found out. But it feels like it is because he doesn’t really care about me or our marriage. He tried to sleep alittle and when he woke up for work alittle bit ago he looked awful. He cried a little then and kept telling me how much he loved me. I just don’t know.
I don’t know where to go from here. I’m a mess! I hate that he’s had it hidden away all these years. I hate that he sorta said it was my fault, even though he took it back. I hate that I’ve been thinking everything was amazing with us. I feel like I would literally do anything he wanted sexually so I don’t see how he can feel like it is just for me. It’s hard. I feel like our marriage is a lie. And I feel like everything he’s ever said to me is a lie. I’m hurting so much right now. I want him to make it better but I don’t even know how he can.
Plus, sex has always been such a huge part of our marriage. I love it and can’t imagine going very long without it. But I can’t even being naked with him right now, let alone making love with him. But if that is going to be a major issue then we’re going to have problems. But how can I trust him? How can I put all of this out of my mind? How can I not feel like he’s comparing me to the porn every time we’re together? This really hurts!
Bye,
Lisa