Just found he's been cheating

1260 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by sharkeey, Nov 27, 2012

Chopsy

Discussion Starter · Nov 26, 2012

He left me eight weeks ago, gave me the ILYBINILWY. Said he needed to be alone.

Just sent him my terms. Will be filing shortly.

I suspected he was up to something and now I know my world has collapsed. Ive been so brave, I'm just so so tired now.

I'm totally broke, haven't worked for years, his income has always been good. I'm renting and now can't afford the rent. When he left he said he'd still help me out, but obviously keeping how ***** has cost him and he hasn't sent me a penny in a month,

I'll probably be homeless shortly, me and my two dogs and three cats. I'm 48 with nothing in my life.

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Kasler

· #2 · Nov 26, 2012

Its time to file then. While divorce is in process if his name is on the deed of the home and all the bills then he will have to pay them.

Also depending on length of marriage you could go for some steep alimony.

Firstly, its not true that you have nothing, you still have yourself and your respect, and while it may feel like it doesn't amount to much, it will later on.

Also it is in no way too late to have a new life at your juncture in life.

As corny as that sounds many people have found themselves in completely different lives even after mid 50s'!

Don't give up because you married one douche bag.

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JCD

· #3 · Nov 26, 2012

How long were you married?

Because in a no fault state, you get half. Sounds like you were married for a while. If it's more than ten years, you will probably get at LEAST 5 years of alimony.

You also get half the equity in any house. Half the assets (401k, stocks, coin collections, jewelry, his prize automobile if he has one) If he doesn't pony up, you can have the court garnish his wages. That means YOU get your money before HE gets his!

So, your lifestyle will probably take a hit but you need to get a lawyer on this STAT.

If you have some joint credit cards, run off some cash advances to hold you over. Yup, you'll have to pay HALF the debt. But leaving a wife high and dry? Judge don't like that!

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travellover

· #4 · Nov 26, 2012

Chopsy I feel your pain and despair. Although I've typically made more money than my H, I'm unemployed right now. Guess it makes him think he can do whatever he wants! Our financial situation is ugly and we are renting. I just told him that we need to give notice on our apartment. He doesn't even realize he can't afford it by himself. Lol. I know its hard, but this really is the time to focus on you! Make yourself stronger, healthier, whatever it takes. Keep coming to this site, it really has given me strength. I don't know what's in my future, but I am positive that I deserve a lot more than some guy who has been controlling (I used to think it showed how much he loved me), always accused me of cheating, micromanaged my time and said I was lying, and now seems to be having some kind of midlife crisis. He currently enjoys at least one RA possibly PA and hanging out with people in their 20's. You deserve more too!
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sharkeey

· #5 · Nov 27, 2012

Why do you think you'll get nothing and be homeless?

Typically the higher earning spouse pays support to the lesser or nonmonied spouse, and as the poster above suggested, unless he's going to just walk away from the mortgage and the bills and trash his credit rating, he's still on the hook. It will take months or years before you're "out on the street" and even then you'll most likely be receiving some support as well as half the marital assets which would include any equity in the home, assuming of course that the home is not a separate marital asset of his.

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