I am not really sure where to start because I really don't know how I feel. My husband and I have been married almost 18 years and I seem to feel nothing for him anymore. He has been a good provider for my kids and I over the years, but that has come at a cost to us. He reminds us of this often. I gave up a career to be a SAHM for many years (which I will always be grateful for) but have in the past 2 years started my career again. I have been pretty successful in it, but home matters have suffered.
My kids have done fine with me returning to work, and my husband was very supportive of it financially, but I don't think he thought through how it would change our family dynamics. He has been very vocal to the kids about my shortcomings at home and they have relayed these messages back to me. A few weeks ago I told him I had had a bad day and he told me he didn't care, because he wasn't interested in my work....cut me to the heart. I told him regardless of whether he was interested in my work, he should be interested in me...didn't phase him.
I think I am too much of a coward, because I am afraid of what may come if I voice all of my concerns to my husband, but I can feel me distancing myself from him. I struggle to remember why I love him, and really don't have an interest in spending time with him. He has often given me the silent treatment for days or weeks at the time through the years when things didn't go his way, and I would cry and beg him to talk to me and he would not.
He is a really good man, and most people would never believe how he talks about/to me, because he's not like that around other people. I just almost feel after all these years I am about done. I do not want to feel this way, I want our family to be happy, but I just can't seem to find a way past this noncaring feeling...very scary to me. Any advice?......
My kids have done fine with me returning to work, and my husband was very supportive of it financially, but I don't think he thought through how it would change our family dynamics. He has been very vocal to the kids about my shortcomings at home and they have relayed these messages back to me. A few weeks ago I told him I had had a bad day and he told me he didn't care, because he wasn't interested in my work....cut me to the heart. I told him regardless of whether he was interested in my work, he should be interested in me...didn't phase him.
I think I am too much of a coward, because I am afraid of what may come if I voice all of my concerns to my husband, but I can feel me distancing myself from him. I struggle to remember why I love him, and really don't have an interest in spending time with him. He has often given me the silent treatment for days or weeks at the time through the years when things didn't go his way, and I would cry and beg him to talk to me and he would not.
He is a really good man, and most people would never believe how he talks about/to me, because he's not like that around other people. I just almost feel after all these years I am about done. I do not want to feel this way, I want our family to be happy, but I just can't seem to find a way past this noncaring feeling...very scary to me. Any advice?......