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Just Cannot get out of a bad relationship? Sounds familiar?

1448 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  cowgirl.at.heart
I've seen people get divorce, cheated husband/wife, people lying, people stealing. My trust in humanity is considered very little now, and that includes my trust in my significant other.
Does it sound familiar to you: you know you've been lied to, you have all the evidence, all the rational explanations. You have all the good reason to get out of a very bad relationship.
Yet, for some reason, you just can't.
Because you're afraid to be alone.
Because you have invested too much in this relationship: emotionally and financially. Because you're in too deep to get out.
Because the idea of starting over scares the crap out of you.
Because you're afraid you wouldn't find anyone else.
Because you don't have the time and energy look for someone else.
Because [insert your excuse here]

Do you have a similar story? I'm not sure I'm asking for solutions or advice here. But how about trying telling your story and how you handled it, that would probably give some insights.

Here's a short version of my story: I know that my partner really lied to my face. Well, I confronted before, more than once, each time a different result happened; there was time we fought like hell, there was time there was just the 'brushing-it-off' move, there was time there was lots of blaming and pointing finger, there was time there was counter-attack (tricky move and vicious one), there was time there was regrets and apologies.
But bottom line is, there was deceit and deception.
And I can't get out of this relationship. There were so many breakups. But we were weak, and we got back together after all the breakups. Maybe just so that there will be another breakup :scratchhead:
Where do I find the strength to handle this?

What is your story?
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I don't have this problem.

A man tried to hit me with his fist. He couldn't see me anymore. Begging and pleading don't work on me.

A man called me names. And some days later, I was gone. I don't allow men to disrespect me.

My first marriage failed. When I realized that I wasn't happy, I left. I left everything to him, and I just walked away.

Now I have finally found a wonderful man who loves me and respects me and who I love with all of my heart and we have a happy marriage people admire.

We might fail in some relationships, but when we know what we want, and look for the man we want. We have a better chance to succeed.

And I believe a single life is better than a miserable marriage.
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I don't have this problem.

A man tried to hit me with his fist. He couldn't see me anymore. Begging and pleading don't work on me.

A man called me names. And some days later, I was gone. I don't allow men to disrespect me.

My first marriage failed. When I realized that I wasn't happy, I left. I left everything to him, and I just walked away.

Now I have finally found a wonderful man who loves me and respects me and who I love with all of my heart and we have a happy marriage people admire.

We might fail in some relationships, but when we know what we want, and look for the man we want. We have a better chance to succeed.

And I believe a single life is better than a miserable marriage.
thank you for your stories, greenpearl. Congratulations on your amazing relationship!
Like Pearl, I have not been afraid to walk away. However, I had to postpone walking away in one situation and I stayed for several years.

I believe that people will stay as long as the good outweighs the bad. When the fear and pain of being together is BIGGER than the pain and fear of being single, you'll leave.
I always felt like I was an odd one that couldn't leave, despite knowing I should. Ate away at my self esteem and my time. So I'm not the only one?
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I was actually just pondering this topic today, thinking I may post the question. I just simply don't understand women who stay in abusive relationships. I have no respect for them whatsoever. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but that's how I feel.

I have been in relationships where I thought the other was on the road to disrespecting me, and once realized, I was gone. I had enough abuse as a child. I WON'T take it as an adult.

Perhaps some of the answers here can shed some light on it for me. Please don't tell me you stay because you "love" this person. If that is the case, you and I have different definitions of the word.
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