Talk About Marriage banner
41 - 60 of 102 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,583 Posts
He probably did, and that's probably why they aren't talking. He turned a mole hill in to a crater. He should have just left it.
He should not have just left it.
I hope he did confront the guy and made “respect” part of his vocabulary when it comes to his wife.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,984 Posts
Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a *), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.
As a wife, I have no patience for immature games. Both of them need to grow up and find better friends.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
I did. I left the chat. That's what started the whole thing. If he would have been laughing, it would have been one thing but the look on his face said something completely different. I love the guys and care about all of them and this one is more family than anything. He simply just doesn't get along with anybody that doesn't follow suite of him
that's kinda bizarre... Is this guy known for having a dry or mean sense of humor like that?

Either way, sounds like he was out of line.

It's 2022... I think most people know dead pan humor and sarcasm don't translate well in text or on the internet. And so he should've done something to make up for it.

plus

ball's in his court.

the fact that he's fighting with his own wife over it tells me some other issues might be going on. maybe he's stressed; maybe he just got up on the wrong side of the bed that day. who knows? I'd stay out of the chat until he makes amends.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
290 Posts
Does that exist anymore?
A dramatically less dramatic (real) life exists without social media. So many of the issues here on TAM involve childish online flirting games, he said she said crap, friendships that go sideways and boredom induced trouble. Just look at what's happening to your friends now because of some pointless long-winded group chat. Obviously I'm biased. Opt out of everything you can & LIVE a happier life. It's so easy to miscommunicate online, and the majority of interactions are unnecessary, misinformed or worse. Did I mention I'm biased lol. I hope this blows over for you, but make the best of this fork in the road and remove yourself where possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #46 ·
A dramatically less dramatic (real) life exists without social media. So many of the issues here on TAM involve childish online flirting games, he said she said crap, friendships that go sideways and boredom induced trouble. Just look at what's happening to your friends now because of some pointless long-winded group chat. Obviously I'm biased. Opt out of everything you can & LIVE a happier life. It's so easy to miscommunicate online, and the majority of interactions are unnecessary, misinformed or worse. Did I mention I'm biased lol. I hope this blows over for you, but make the best of this fork in the road and remove yourself where possible.
It will blow over. I don't think its the friends causing any of the issue - I think its my husband being paranoid that his friends are mad at him and he's stirring up storms but he doesn't see it. He's an alcoholic and narcisistic so it can be quite complicated. We were up until probably 2am arguing about it. He was drunk and I was tired. I'm going to hear about this for forever because I left this stupid chat. I bailed on him. That's how he is seeing it. I'm over it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,710 Posts
Alright men - I'm willing to listen. Yesterday, my husband's friend decided to flip me off and basically just say **** you to me because of something really stupid and it hurt my feelings. This was in a group chat. I asked him to send texts instead of videos. He responded with a few videos saying no and then sent one of him flipping me off and the look on his face was not nice. So I got upset and left the chat. My husband sees that about a half hour later (I just didn't respond - we are both at work and I didn't want to be upset so I just left the chat) and texts me asking me why I left. I told him that his friend hurt my feelings. He told me that I shouldn't take it serious and then started scolding me because I left the chat. Then the friend apparently got in to a fight with his wife over it and now they are fighting (I'm going to assume that she stuck up for me?) but so now him and my husband aren't friends - husband is mad at me because I 'created' this and I said nothing but just left the chat. I'm lost.
Hubby is being insensitive to you and his buddy is an ass.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #48 ·
Hubby is being insensitive to you and his buddy is an ass.
He's mad at me because he feels that he's going to lose everything because he wants to stand by my side. I keep telling him to stop, that everything will blow over but he's afraid that it won't and that he's going to lose his friends over it and they probably don't even care that I left the chat. He did give me some insight on why him and friend are arguing though. Friend's wife is one of my best friends. When this happened - when I left the chat, hubby seen it and started yelling at me, telling me that I needed to stop being so emotional and dramatic, that his friend was joking. So I called wife to vent. I was already having a bad day. I'm assuming that what happened next was when her husband got home, he said something to her about it and she then in turn started telling him that I said that my husband was yelling at me for it - he does become quite protective when he feels that my husband is out of line about things which in turn caused them to start fighting because he doesn't want to hear about our crap. So things spiraled from there. All while I was at my doctors appointment. They got in to a huge fight. Husband is upset with me for leaving the chat and now he has to stick up for me to his friend because his friend said some stupid crap. From what I'm gathering, my husband says that he was giving him crap and telling him that he simply just should never tell me no and the friend probably took him serious. I still really don't think that friend was joking. At the end of the day, this is all basically my fault.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,583 Posts
At the end of the day, this is all basically my fault.
I disagree with this.

This whole thing is one big drama that really seems overblown and unnecessary.

But it's not your fault for having boundaries and enforcing them.
It's quite the right thing to do.
You're just friends with children in my opinion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,710 Posts
They treat me like I'm their buddy which is fine. I can hang with them better than most of the guys do but at some point - the look on his face says he was mad because he didn't want to do it. That's where I felt disrespected and it hurt my feelings because at some point - I see this man as family. I didn't explain myself or try to argue or respond. I simply just left the chat and when my husband asked why, I said the guy hurt my feelings and that I needed time to breath. So then the husband starts a fight with me. Probably started a fight with his friend too from the sounds of it because now they aren't talking.
I don't know if you should have said, "He hurt my feelings" to me I would have thought, why is my wife emotionally vulnerable to what my buddy says?

My wife would have said, "I left the chat because buddy was being an asshole!"

One says to me, wife is emotionally vested in what this other guy thinks or says to her. Other says wife has a boundary and is not going to tolerate others BS!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #51 ·
I don't know if you should have said, "He hurt my feelings" to me I would have thought, why is my wife emotionally vulnerable to what my buddy says?

My wife would have said, "I left the chat because buddy was being an asshole!"

One says to me, wife is emotionally vested in what this other guy thinks or says to her. Other says wife has a boundary and is not going to tolerate others BS!
I'm really not following you on that one and have to disagree. Emotionally vested because my feelings were hurt? Your feelings can be hurt by a complete stranger. I have feelings. I'm a human being.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,710 Posts
Oh and you think that's going to last forever? I doubt it. The two guys talked something was said that wasn't a joke (beyond what we know like calling his wife a *), her husband got mad cause it's no longer a joke or funny. They aren't talking now in a few days I bet it all blows over. That's what happens with guys and children usually. I'd be shocked if the whole friendship is over.
I removed myself from a friendship because it was no longer a good one for my marriage/family....we did not even get cross. The guy was my best man, but his choices I did nott want around my family.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #53 ·
I disagree with this.

This whole thing is one big drama that really seems overblown and unnecessary.

But it's not your fault for having boundaries and enforcing them.
It's quite the right thing to do.
You're just friends with children in my opinion.
I'm really just waiting for God to step in and call time out because this is becoming emotionally exhausting.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,464 Posts
He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad
Woo. Tell him you're embarrassed that he has such an asshat friend and then gets butthurt when the guy crosses the line and insults his wife.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,484 Posts
I think most people know dead pan humor and sarcasm don't translate well in text or on the internet. And so he should've done something to make up for it.
My attempts are humor are very dry. They have gotten me into trouble many times, including getting me my only ban (so far) here on TAM.

If your friendship is destroyed because of this event, it was not a strong friendship. Take care of yourself.

Why did you waste time arguing with a drunk?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,710 Posts
I'm really not following you on that one and have to disagree. Emotionally vested because my feelings were hurt? Your feelings can be hurt by a complete stranger. I have feelings. I'm a human being.
I don't give a crap about what a stranger says, nor would I get my feeling hurt by a friend, they may do or say something to anger me, but only my wife can injure me emotionally.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #58 ·
I don't give a crap about what a stranger says, nor would I get my feeling hurt by a friend, they may do or say something to anger me, but only my wife can injure me emotionally.
Well I am not you. I have good days and bad days but sometimes, my feelings do get hurt. This man and his wife are like family to us. We spend a lot of time with them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #59 ·
My attempts are humor are very dry. They have gotten me into trouble many times, including getting me my only ban (so far) here on TAM.

If your friendship is destroyed because of this event, it was not a strong friendship. Take care of yourself.

Why did you waste time arguing with a drunk?
I don't even know, tbh with you. I feel like the husbands are throwing fits behind closed doors?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,710 Posts
He said that I embarrassed him and over reacted by leaving the chat and got mad
So now he is being emotional and OMG concerned about what others think about him and his wife. He needs to get his priorities straight. Your spouse comes 1st before buddies. You treat my wife with disrespect, we are gonna have issues. Wife and I are one, you do something to my wife...you are doing it to me.
 
41 - 60 of 102 Posts
Top