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143 Posts
I've lead him on for the past 8 years, when I knew eventually I'd find the courage to leave. Instead of leaving like any normal human being would do, I stayed year after year after year, all when I knew I wanted out. I've stolen his time, his youth, his chance at happiness with someone right for him. All the while, I dragged him through the mud, breaking up with him and coming back, over and over and over again. My youth is gone too. Even still, I don't want to leave. I'm comfortable, I lovd him, and its easier to stay than leave. But the depression and anxiety that comes with me staying is almost unbearable. Ive been dreaming all these years of a different life, a different mate, a different city, different house. My intincts have screamed at me all these years to get out, but it never stuck. Is always come back. And its always the same pattern. He took this weekend off to celebrate my 35 th bday, but I'm thinking I should be moving out instead. I feel so guilty and sad. What have I done? Why does it have to be like this?
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