What we think is irrelevant. If you feel duped, tell him. Talk it out.
What we think is irrelevant. If you feel duped, tell him. Talk it out.
Okay, now you understand what the emotions that I am feeling. I asked this question and his answer was this is the only way he was able to cope with it. To realize that the child was only a step child - it was his safety net for self preservation. He didn't want to end the relationship, the son just quit. The son is now well in his 30s.The problem is that he held back important information about who he is. He is someone who can adopt a child, have a close relationship with the child and then just leave and pretend the child doesn't exist. Many people would consider this information a 'deal breaker'.
I don't blame him for shutting down.He's shut down. He said he has been battered enough and wants to annull (if we can) the marriage. If not, move out until I can learn to forgive him.
I don't know what to do.
What do you want to do?I don't know what to do.
Thank you for being so blunt. I needed that.I don't blame him for shutting down.
For all practical purposes he has no children, he definitely has no biological children, you asked him about the apparent contradiction, he gave you his best explanation and you continue to beat him up over it.
Either let it go or get an annulment.
Personally I think you're being completely unreasonable and there are much worse problems in marriages and relationships but hey that's your call.
You're welcome. Now go tell him you're sorry you gave him such a hard time, have great sex and go have fun together.Thank you again because it the grand scheme of things, this is VERY minor.
It sounds like something hubby might have said when he reached his limit from all the badgering he was getting. He probably had nothing else to say, he apologized numerous times, he can't change the past or what he said or didn't say and she kept at it until he just sort of popped and said "look, if you can't deal with it then let's end the marriage" or words to that effect.While you might accept this situation as "VERY minor" - what about the thought that it was so easily brought up about an annulment or that you could move out until you get over it?
I think I'd ponder about rather than immediately take all the heat here for over-reacting.
My father did the same thing with my half-sister. She is not my blood sister, my father's 2nd wife (after my mom). He adopted her. They got divorced, he pretty much wrote her off and considers himself to be a father to 2 - my brother and I.I have. He said he didn't intentionally lie to me. He just doesn't ever see the child, nor talk to him and being that he is not blood related, he just convinced himself that he doesn't have any children. I see it a whole different way so we are at an impasse.